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Monty Python ScriptsWhicker IslandThe cast:
The sketch:(A stock shot of a jet landing which they always use to introduce 'Whicker's World'. This leads us into Whicker Island - a tropical island paradise where all the inhabitants have Alan Whicker suits, glasses and microphones.) CAPTION: 'WHICKER'S WORLD' (Various Whickers pace past the camera.) First Whicker: Today we look at a vanishing race. A problem people who are fast disappearing off the face of the earth. Second Whicker: A race who one might say are losing a winning battle. Third Whicker: They live in a sunshine paradise, a Caribbean dream, where only reality is missing. Fourth Whicker: For this is Whicker Island. Fifth Whicker: An island inhabited entirely by ex-international interviewers in pursuit of the impossible dream. First Whicker: The whole problem of Whicker Island is here in a nutshell. Second Whicker: There are just too many Whickers. Third Whicker: The light-weight suits. Fourth Whicker: The old school tie. Fifth Whicker: The practiced voice of the seasoned campaigner. First Whicker: Cannot hide the basic tragedy here. Second Whicker: There just aren't enough rich people left to interview. (Cut to a different location.) Third Whicker: You can't teach an old dog new tricks and so (turning to a swimming pod with lots of Whickers around it, wandering with stick mikes and muttering) you find them... Fourth Whicker: (seated by swimming pool) Sitting beside elegant swimming pools... Fifth Whicker: (seated at drinks table, with sun umbrella) ... sipping Martinis... First Whicker: (standing by the pool) .. and waiting for the inevitable interview. Second Whicker: (standing fully clothed in the pool) I talked to the island's only white man, Father Pierre. (Cut to a different location. Feeling of heat. The third Whicker stands beside a priest in a white robe.) Third Whicker: Father Pierre, why did you stay on in this colonial Campari-land where the clink of glasses mingles with the murmur of a million mosquitoes, where waterfalls of whisky wash away the worries of a world-weary Whicker, where gin and tonic jingle in a gyroscopic jubilee of something beginning With J - Father Pierre, why did you stay on here? Father Pierre: (putting on a pair of Whicker-style glasses) Well mainly for the interviews. Fifth Whicker: Well there you have it, a crumbling... First Whicker: ... empire in the sun-drenched... Second Whicker: Caribbean, where the clichés sparkle on the waters... Third Whicker: ... like the music of repeat fees... First Whicker: And so... Fifth Whicker: ... from Whicker Island... First Whicker: ... it's... Second Whicker: ... fare... Third Whicker: ... well and... Fourth Whicker: ... bon... Fifth Whicker: . .. voy... First Whicker: ... age. (Cut to film of Whicker plane taking off. Roll credits, which read:) WHICKER'S WORLD WAS CONCEIVED, WRITTEN AND PERFORMED
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Monty
Python Scripts
