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Jockey Interviews

The cast:

BRIAN
Eric Idle
FIRST JOCKEY
Michael Palin
SECOND JOCKEY
Graham Chapman
THIRD JOCKEY
?

The sketch:

Cut to Epsom racecourse, and a presenter, Brian MacThighbone, up against the paddock rail.

CAPTION: Live from Epsom

Brian: Good afternoon. Well in fact there's still a few minutes to go before the main race on the card this afternoon - the Queen Victoria Handicap. So let's have a quick word with the winner of the last race, one of the season's top jockeys - Ronnie Mau-Mau. (a jockey's cap comes into shot, which is all we ever see of him) Good afternoon, Ronnie.

First Jockey: Good afternoon, Brian.

Brian: (pointing his stick-mike down) A very fine ride there, Ronnie.

First Jockey: Well, a fine horse, Brian. You know you can't go wrong.

Brian: Do you fancy your chances for the Derby?

First Jockey: (vigorously nodding) Oh very definitely, very definitely, indeed, certainly Brian.

Brian: Well, let's just see if a colleague of yours agrees with that. Let's just have a quick word with Desmond Willet. Afternoon Des.

Another different silk hat comes into the bottom of frame. Again all we see is the jockey's cap.

Second Jockey: (Irish accent) Afternoon, Brian. (he shakes his head) No chance, no chance at all.

First Jockey: (nodding vigorously) No, no I think you're wrong there, Des, with the right kind of going, he's going to be in there at the finish, Des.

Second Jockey: (shaking vigorously) No chance, there's no chance.

Brian: Well in fact I can see last season's top jockey, Johnny Knowles. (two caps move over) Good afternoon, Johnny.

Pause. Not even a cap is seen.

Third Jockey: (faintly) Hello, Brian.

Brian: Er, could we have a box for Johnny, please. (a cap comes into sight) Thank you.

Third Jockey: Hello, Brian

Brian: That's better. Well there you are. Three very well known faces from the racing world. Thanks very much for coming along this afternoon, lads.

First Jockey, Second Jockey and Third Jockey: Not at all. (vigorous nodding of caps)

Brian: And best wishes for the Derby.

First Jockey, Second Jockey and Third Jockey: Ah, thank you Brian, thanks very much. (they leave nodding)

Brian: Well in fact I hear they're ready for us now at the start of the main race this afternoon. So let's go right away and join Peter at the start.

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