`Nationwide' type music and credits. Michael Charlton in a
Charlton: Good evening and welcome to `Nationwide'. The
program where we do rather wet things nationally and also give you
the chance to see some rather wet items in the Regions. Well,
everyone is talking about the Third World War which broke out this
morning. But here on `Nationwide' we're going to get away from that
a bit and look instead at the latest theory that sitting down
regularly in a comfortable chair can rest your legs. It sounds very
nice doesn't it, but can it be done? Is it possible or practical for
many of us in our jobs and with the sort of busy lives we lead to
sit down in a comfortable chair just when we want? We sent our
reporter John Dull to find out.
Cut to Dull sitting in a chair on Westminster Bridge.
Reporter: Well, here I am on London's busy Westminster
Bridge, seeing just how much time sitting down can take. Well, I
arrived here by train at about 8.50, it's now 9.05, so I've been
here approximately twelve minutes and if it's any encouragement, I
must say that my legs do feel rested.
A policeman walks up to him.
Policeman: Is this your chair?
Reporter: Er ... well, no, it's a prop.
Policeman: It's been stolen!
Policeman: This belongs to a Mrs. Edgeworth of Pinner --
she's standing over there.
Cut to worried middle-aged lady, standing on the other side of
the road, peering across. She has an identical chair in one hand.
Reporter: Ah well, it's nothing to do with me. It's just a
prop which the BBC ... aaargh!
The policeman pushes the reporter off and picks up the chair.
Policeman: It's got her name on the bottom. (he
indicates: Mrs. E. Edgeworth)
Reporter: Well er ... perhaps you'd better give it back to
Policeman: You don't believe I'm a policeman, do you?
Reporter: Yes I do!
Policeman: What am I wearing on my head?
Reporter: A helmet
Policeman: (correcting him) A policeman's helmet!
Policeman: (taking off his helmet and demonstrating)
You see that?
Policeman: That little number there?
Policeman: That is a Metropolitan Area Identification
Code. No helmet is authentic without that number.
Reporter: I see.
Policeman: Kids' helmets, helmets you get in toy shops,
helmets you buy at Christmas. None of them is authentic ... Hang on.
(he turns and crosses the busy road)
Reporter: Oh could I ...
Policeman: Hang on!
He goes across to Mrs. Edgeworth, and tries to grab the other
chair from her. Mrs. Edgeworth resists. He clouts her and pulls the
chair away. He brings it back across the road and sits down next to
Policeman: Mind you I didn't join the police force just to
wear the helmets you know. That just happens to be one of the little
perks. There are plenty of jobs where I could have worn a helmet,
but not such a nice helmet. (Mrs. Edgeworth is gesticulating;
another policeman comes up and drags her away) This helmet, I
think, beats even some of the more elaborate helmets worn by the
Tsar's private army, the so-called Axi red warriors. You know about
Reporter: Well, no I don't.
Policeman: Ah! Their helmets used to look like ... you got
Reporter: Well only these scripts.
The policeman gets up, looks up the street, and selects a
businessman with a briefcase, who is hurrying away from him. The
policeman runs up to him, grabs his arm, twists it up behind his
back and wrenches the briefcase from his hand. He opens it, gets out
some paper, then drops briefcase before the amazed owner, and ambles
back to his chair, neatly grabbing a pen from a passer-by's inside
Policeman: I'll have that!
Man: I say!
The policeman sits down again and starts to draw, talking the
Policeman: Now then. Their helmet was not unlike the
bobby's helmet in basic shape. It had an emblem here, and three gold
-- and in those days it really was gold, that's part of the reason
the Tsar was so unpopular -- three gold bands surmounted by a golden
eagle on the apex here. Pretty nice helmet, eh?
Policeman: I think the domed helmet wins every time over
the flattened job, you know, even when they're three cornered ...
(suddenly his eyes light on two office secretaries opening their
packed lunch on a nearby seat) ... you want something to eat?
Reporter: (sensing what's going to happen, hurriedly)
Well no, er really ...
Policeman: (approaching the girls and getting out his
notebook) Hang on. You can't park here you know.
Women: (bewildered) We're not parked!
Policeman: No parked! What's that then?
Women: That's our lunch.
Policeman: Right. I'm taking that in for forensic
Policeman: Because it might have been used as a murder
weapon, that's why! (the girls look at each other; the policeman
grabs their lunch) Yeah, not bad. Could be worse. (to the
Reporter: (desperately) No, no, please ... honestly
... please ...
The policeman walks off. There is a crash of breaking glass.
An alarm bell starts to ring. The reporter winces. The policeman
walks into shot again, holding two bottles of beer. He sits down,
opens the beers with his teeth and hands one to reporter who is very
Policeman: Now, the Chaldeans, who used to inhabit the
area in between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, their helmets were
of the modular restrained kind of type ...