Monty Python Scripts

Thripshaws's Disease

The cast:

THRIPSHAW

John Cleese

MAN

Michael Palin

The sketch:

(Cut to front of a booklet, entitled 'A Dissertation on Thripshaw's Disease Presented to the Royal College of Surgeons by Dr f. Henry Thnpshaw'. Captions zoom forward over it:)

HARLEY STREET
FLEET STREET
BROADWAY
HOLLYWOOD

(A page of the book turns to reveal the title 'David O. Seltzer Presents '. The page turns again to reveal 'Rip Glint in: '. The page turns again to reveal a title in stone lettering ~ la Ben-Hut, with searchlights behind h la 20th-Century Fox: 'Dr E. Henry Thripshaw's Disease'. Cut to stock film of marauding knights.)

SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'SYR1A 1203'

(The knights sack a village, looting, pillaging, burning and murdering. Cut to a studio set with interviewer and Thripshaw.)

Interviewer: (speaking with frequent pauses, as of one reading from a slow autocue) That clip... comes from the new David O. Seltzer... film. The author... of that film clip ... is with me ... now. Doctor E. Henry ... Thripshaw.

Thripshaw: Well, I feel that they have missed the whole point of my disease.

Interviewer: This is .... always the problem ... with directors of film... clips.

Thripshaw: Yes, well you see, they've dragged in all this irrelevant mush...

Interviewer: What... are you doing ... now?

Thripshaw: Well at the moment I am working on a new disease, which I hope to turn into a musical, but, primarily we are working on a re-make of my first disease and this time we're hoping to do it properly.

Interviewer: Well ... let's just ... take a ... look at this new film...clip.

(Film clip exactly as before. Cut to Thripshaw at a desk evidently in a castle. A knight in amour rushes up to him.)

Thripshaw: Well now, what seems to be the matter?

(Cut to a comer at the set where a man emerges from a barrel.)

Man: The next sketch starts after some silly noises.

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