(Cut to a doctor's surgery. The doctor has in front of him a
plaque which says 'Dr E. H. Thripshaw'. Enter Burrows.)
Burrows: Good doctor morning! Nice year for the time of
Thripshaw: Come in.
Burrows: Can I down sit?
Thripshaw: Certainly. (Burrows sits) Well, then?
Burrows: Well, now, not going to bush the doctor about the
beat too long. I'm going to come to point the straight immediately.
Thripshaw: Good, good.
Burrows: My particular prob, or buglem bear, I've had
ages. For years, I've had it for donkeys.
Burrows: I'm up to here with it, I'm sick to death. I
can't take you any longer so I've come to see it.
Thripshaw: Ah, now this is your problem with words.
Burrows: This is my problem with words. Oh, that seems to
have cleared it. 'Oh I come from Alabama with my banjo on my knee'.
Yes, that seems to be all right. Thank you very much.
Thripshaw: I see. But recently you have been having this
problem with your word order.
Burrows: Well, absolutely, and what makes it worse,
sometimes at the end of a sentence I'll come out with the wrong
Burrows: And the thing about saying the wrong word is a) I
don't notice it, and b) sometimes orange water given bucket of
Thripshaw: Yes, tell me more about your problem.
Burrows: Well as I say, you'd just be talking and out'll
pudenda the wrong word and ashtray's your uncle. So I'm really
strawberry about it.
Burrows: It's so embarrassing when my wife and I go to an
Thripshaw: A party?
Burrows: No, an orgy. We live in Esher.
Burrows: ,That's what I said. such a bloody whack the
diddle fa di la, fo di la, 1o do di ... do di do, rum fum.
Thripshaw: Mr. Burrows, this is no common problem; You are
suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet.
But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting
for. The chance of a lifetime! (zoom in to close up on him as
lighting changes to dramatic spotlight) I'll show them at the
Royal College of Surgeons! I'll make them sit up and take notice!
Thripshaw's disease! Discovered by E. Henry Thripshaw MD! I'll be
invited on 'Call My Bluff' and on merchandizing the E. Henry
Thripshaw t-shirt... I'll turn it into a game... I'll sell the film
(sketch continues with Thripshaw's Disease)