SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'FINAL OF THE HIDE-AND-SEEK SECOND LEO'
(Zoom in on commentator and the two finalists, forty-year-old
men limbering up in shorts and singlets.)
Commentator: Hello, good afternoon and welcome to the
second leg of the Olympic final of the men's Hide-and-Seek here in
the heart of Britain's London. We'll be surfing in just a couple of
moments from now, and there you can see the two competitors
Francisco Huron the Paraguayan, who in this leg is the seeker (we
see Francisco Huron darting about, looking behind things) and
there's the man he'll be looking for ... (we see Don Roberts
practicing hiding) our own Don Roberts from Hinckley in
Leicestershire who, his trainer tells me, is at the height of his
self-secreting form. And now in the first leg, which ended on
Wednesday, Don succeeded in finding the Paraguayan in the new world
record time of 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27.4
seconds, in a sweetshop in Kilmarnock. And now they're under
(We see Don Roberrs and Francisco Huron standing side by side,
poised, looking nervous.)
Starter: (voice over) On your marks... get set...
The starter fires his pistol. Francisco Huron immediately puts
his hands over eyes and starts counting.)
Francisco: Uno, dos, tres, quattro, cinque, seis, siete,
ocho, nueve, diez ...
(Meanwhile Don Roberts hails a cab. He gets in and it drives
Francisco: ... trientay dos, trientay tres, trientay
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: '32, 33, 34'
Commentator: Well Don off to a really great start there.
Remember the Paraguayan has got 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9
hours... (cut to taxi on the way to London airport) 3
minutes, 27.4 seconds to beat.
(Cut back to Francisco still counting.)
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: '998, 999, 1000'
Francisco: Neuvecian no nuevetay ocho, nuevecientas
nuevente ye nueve, mil. (Francisco takes his hands from his eyes
and shouts) Coming!
(He starts looking around the immediate locality suspiciously.
We see a plane landing. There is a sign saying 'Benvenuto a
Sardinia'. Cut to Don on a bicycle. Then running up a hill. Then
going into castle. Running along corridors and eventualy pausing,
looking around agitatedly, and then hiding behind a pillar.
Occasionally he looks out nervously. Then cut to Francisco looking
in shops in the Tottenham Court Road. Cut to studio 'Sportsview'
desk with a Frank Bough man at it.)
Frank Bough: Well, we'll be taking you back there as soon
as there are any developments.
CAPTION: 'SIX YEARS LATER'
(Cut back to desk. Frank Bough looks older.)
Frank Bough: We've just heard that something is happening
in the Hide-and-Seek final, so let's go straight over there.
(Cut to film of Francisco Huron. He is wandering around
looking for Don Roberrs in a beach setting. The commentator is some
way from him. He speaks quietly into a microphone.)
Commentator: Hello again, and welcome to Madagascar, where
Francisco Huron is seeking Don Roberts. And I've just been told that
he has been told that he has been unofficially described as 'cold'.
Ah, wait a minute. (in the distance Francisco Huron consults with
an official; the commentator moves out of shot briefly, then
returns) I've just been told that Huron has requested a plane
ticket for Budapest! So he's definitely getting warmer. So we'll be
back again in just a few years.
(Cut to Frank Bough looking older. He is covered with
Frank Bough: Really beginning to hot up now.
CAPTION: 'FIVE YEARS, TWO MONTHS AND TWENTY-SIX DAYS LATER'
(Cut to a Portuguese-looking setting. Francisco Huron looking
round desperately and glancing at his watch.)
Commentator: So here we are on the very last day of this
fantastic final. Huron now has less than twelve hours left to find
British ace Don Roberts. Early this morning he finished combing the
outskirts of Lisbon and now he seems to have staked everything on
one final desperate seek here in the Tagus valley. But Roberts is
over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all
over, bar the shouting. The sands of time are running out for this
delving dago, this senior of seek, perspicacious Paraguayan. He's
still desperately cold and it's beginning to look like another gold
(The camera shows Huron creeping up on a dustbin. He pauses,
snatches off the lid and looks inside. He turns away disappointed
then does double take and looks back into the bin. He pulls out a
sardine tin with the word 'Sardines' very obvious. Shot of Huron's
reaction as he suddenly gets a tremendous idea. He snaps his fingers
and hails a taxi and gets in. Cut to plane landing. Same sign as
before 'Benvenuto a Sardinia'. Francisco cycles past. Cut to him
discarding the bike and running up the hill straight into the
castle. He runs along corridors into the right room, up to the
pillar and finds Don Roberts sulking behind. They both look very
tense as they await the official result, then react in fury and
frustration when it is announced by a blazered official.)
Official: The official result of the World Hide-and-Seek,
Mr. Don Roberrs from Hinckley, Leicestershire, 11 years, 2 months,
26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27 seconds. Mr. Francisco Huron,
Paraguay, 11 years, a months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27
seconds. The result - a tie.
Voice Over: A tie! Well what a fantastic result. Well the
replay will start tomorrow at 7.30 a.m.
(As they stand there the camera pans off them to a window and
then zooms through the window to reveal a beach where there is a
Redcoat: Well hello again .... nice to be back ... glad to
see the series has been doing well. Well now, sorry about Monterrey.
(At this point two men run past in the background carrying a
donkey. A third runs behind carrying a sign saying 'Donkey Rides'
and winking and pointing at the donkey, they run out of picture.)
Redcoat: That was a little item entitled Hide-and-Seek -
very anarchic, very effective, not quite my cup of tea, but very
nice for the younger people. Well, the next item the boys have put
together takes place in a sitting room. Sorry it's just a sitting
room, but the bank account's a bit low after the appallingly
expensive production of 'Clothmerle'...
(He is hit by Mr. Robinson with a chicken. Robinson walks away
and we follow him as he passes Badger in the foreground.)
Badger: This is a totally free interruption and no money
has exchanged hands whatever.
(The camera doesn't pause at all on Badger and we continue
panning with Robinson until he reaches the knight in amour. He hands
the chicken to the knight. He walks away from knight and into the