(Mix through to a modern sitting room. Mrs. Robinson is eating
alone at the table looking at the clock.)
Mr. Robinson: Sorry about that, darling... (he sits)
(She serves him some vegetables. He unfolds his napkin.)
Mrs. Robinson: Gravy?
Mr. Robinson: Yes please, dear.
(They sit and eat in silence. Suddenly the doorbell rings.)
Mrs. Robinson: Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from
(Various different doorbell sounds and chimes. Mr. Robinson
goes to the front door, and opens it. Standing outside are Mr. and
Mrs. Cheap-Laugh. He is wearing a big floppy comedian's suit and a
big bow tie and fright wig. She is a Mrs. Equator sort of lady, with
an enormous hairstyle, and dressed in very bad taste.)
Mr. Robinson: Come in.
Mr. Cheap-Laugh: No! Just breathing heavily!
(He and his wife roar with laughter. As he comes in he slips
and falls on the mat. His wife puts a custard pie in his face. More
roars of laughter.)
Mrs. Cheap-Laugh: Oh we just dropped in.
Mr. Robinson: Would you like to come through...
(We mix through to the exterior of a house at night. Shrieks
of laughter, crushes of crockery. The two men with the donkey run
past in road, the third man behind pointing to the sign.)
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'ONE EVENING WITH THE CHEAP-LAUGHS LATER'
(The light comes on in hall. Cut to them in the hall at the
Mr. Cheap-Laugh: Well goodnight and give us a kiss.
(kisses Mrs. Robinson)
Mrs. Cheap-Laugh: Oh thank you very much for a very nice
Mr. Cheap-Laugh: After you, dear.
(He trips her up and she falls out into the darkness. We hear
her shriek with laughter. Mr. Cheap-Laugh drops his trousers, makes
lavatory chain pulling sign and noise and hurls himself out after
wife and disappears into the darkness. More laughter. The host shuts
the door. They heave a sigh of relief and go back into the sitting
room. The crockery on the table is all smashed in a heap on the
floor with the table cloth. The standard lamp is broken in half.
There are large splodges of food and wine splashes on the walls.
Some glasses and a moustache are drawn on the Tretchikoff picture of
the Chinese girl. Mr. Robinson flops down on the sofa. There is a
farting cushion. She removes it, irritated.)
Mrs. Robinson: Oh honestly dear, why do we always have to
buy everything just because the Cheap-Laughs have one?
(He goes over to the wall cupboard for drinks. A bucket Of
whitewash is balanced on the half-open door. He opens the cupboard
and the bucket of whitewash Jails on him. Cut briefly to a Mr.
Badger: This is not an interruption at all.
(Cut back to Mr. Robinson. He pours himself a drink, without
reacting to the whitewash.)
Mr. Robinson: It's just neighborliness dear, that's all...
Mrs. Robinson: I think we should try and lead our own
lives from now on.
(She opens a sewing box and a boxing glove on a spring comes
out and hits her on the chin.)
Mr. Robinson: Can't you be serious for one moment?
(He sits on the pouffe. The sixteen-ton weight falls on him.
Cut to the exterior of the house. The lights go off downstairs and
upstairs. The two men run past carrying a pantomime goose.)
SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'LATER THAT NIGHT'
(Cut to a darkened bedroom. Mr. and Mrs. Robinson are in a
double bed, talking.)
Mr. Robinson: I'm sorry I was cross earlier.
Mrs. Robinson: Oh that's all right, dear. It's just that
I. get so sick of always having to be like the Cheap-Laughs.
Mr. Robinson: Well yes, from now on we'll be like
Mrs. Robinson: Oh Roger...
Mr. Robinson: Oh Beatrice.
(The bed springs up and folds into the back wall of the
bedroom. On the underneath of the bed is a presenter on a chair.)