(A steamy tropical jungle. A native guide leads four explorers
in pith helmets and old-fashioned long shorts through the jungle.
Cicada sounds and shrieks of predatory jungle birds. Intercut close
ups of perspiring foreheads etc. The native guide keeps beckoning
them to hurry. The jungle appears to get thicker: they have to push
their way through the undergrowth. Finally the guide stops and
points, with eyes staring. The four explorers duster round and look
over his shoulder. A neat clearing in the thick efthe jungle. Tables
set as in a London bistro with check cloths and big wooden pepper
mills, candles and menus standing on each table. Sitting at the
tables are six other explorers in pith helmets etc., eating and
chatting. Clink of coffee cups.
First Explorer: What a simply super little place!
Second Explorer: Yes, they've done wonders with it. You
know this used to be one of the most swampy disease infested areas
of the whole jungle, and they've turned it into this smashing little
restaurant. (across the restaurant the head waiter appears,
dressed in black tie and tails just a bit too big for him; he
beckons them to a table) Here you are Omkami, thank you. Hello,
Akwekwe: Hello, Mr. Spare-Buttons-Supplied-With-The-
Shirt. Nice to see you again.
Second Explorer: These are some of my fellow explorers:
Sir Charles Farquarson, Briar Bailey, Betty Bailey and this is Mr.
Akwekwe, who started the whole place.
Third Explorer: It really is super.
Fourth Explorer: (who is dressed as a man and has a
moustache) Terrific idea.
Akwekwe: May I recommend the alligator purees.
(Suddenly there is a hideous scream. We see a gorilla tear a man
from his table at the back of the restaurant, in front of a tree and
drag him back into the jungle. Awful shrieks are heard. Akwekwe runs
into the jungle shouting, Terrible sounds of the unseen fight.
Thrashing about of bushes in the distance. A shot rings out. Then
silence also rings out. Akwekwe emerges, dragging the inert body of
the cash customer whom he puts back in his chair. He slumps forward.
Akwekwe comes back to the table in the foreground which has remained
in the foreground throughout this preceding shot, with cut ins of
the four explorers looking through the menu. Akwekwe has a
bloodstained claw mark right across his face and chest and his dicky
is torn and bloodstained.
Akwekwe: Now then, have you decided?
(He produces a notepad such as waiters always carry.)
Second Explorer: Ye-es ... Well there's two avocado
vinaigrette here and what are you going to have Briar?
Fourth Explorer: Er quiche lorraine for me, please.
Akwekwe: Right, so that's two avocado, one quiche ...
(Cut to close up of pigmy's evil face parting leaves and
firing a blow-pipe. Cut to another table where two explorers are
having coffee and cigars. One of them stiffens and then slumps
forward. Cut to Akwekwe at the main table registering what has
happened. We pan with him as he rushes over to the bushes. Sound of
pigrnies retreating into the bushes. Akwekwe shouts after him. We
pan with Akwekwe as he walks over to the table where the customer
has slumped f0rward. He pulls him up, looks at dart sticking out of
his chest, tut tuts with annoyance and lets him slump back on to the
table again. He returns to the main table.)
Akwekwe: So, that's two avocado, one quiche ...
Third Explorer: And a soup of the day.
Akwekwe: Right. (sinister sound of jungle drums in
distance; close up of look of fear in Akwekwe's eyes) And to follow?
Second Explorer: Two chicken a la reine, with sauce
First Explorer: And one scampi desiree.
Third Explorer: And boeuf bourguignon with a green salad.
(Jungle drums getting louder. Akwekwe shouts off towards the
back of the clearing where we assume the kitchens mast be.)
Akwekwe: Right on. Two chicken! One scampi! One boeuf with
(He casts yet another fearful glance in the direction of the
ever-increasing drum beats.)
Akwekwe: There may be ... a little delay.
Second Explorer: That's fine but we have to be out by
Akwekwe: Yes, sir. Yes, we'll try.
(The drum beats get louder. Shot of forest, rustling of
bushes. Close up of Akwekwe's eyes. Another shot of forest. Drum
beats louder. More rustling. Close up of Akwekwe's eyes and sweating
forehead. Forest again and more noise. Close up of Akwekwe; he now
has blood on his face, his eyes dilate with fear, the drum beats
became deafening. Sudden cut to BBC world symbol.)