CAPTION: 'WORLD FORUM'
(An important-looking current affairs set. On the back wall
behind the presenter huge letters say: 'World Forum')
Presenter (Eric Idle): Good evening. Tonight is indeed a
unique occasion in the history of television. We are very
privileged, and deeply honored to have with us in the studio, Karl
Marx, founder of modern socialism, and author of the 'Communist
Manifesto'. (Karl Marx is sitting at a desk; he nods)
Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov, better known to the world as Lenin, leader
of the Russian Revolution, writer, statesman, and father of modern
communism. (shot of Lenin also at desk; he nods)
Che Guevara, the Cuban guerrilla leader. (shot of Guevara)
And Mao Tse-tung, leader of the Chinese Communist Party since
1949. (shot of Mao)
(The presenter picks up a card) And the first question is for
you, Karl Marx. The Hammers - the Hammers is the nickname of what
English football team? 'the Hammers? (shot of Karl Marx furrowing
his brow- obviously he hasn't a clue) No? Well bad luck there,
Karl. So we'll go onto you Che. Che Guevara - Coventry City last won
the FA Cup in what year? (cut to Che looking equally dumbfounded)
No? I'll throw it open. Coventry City last won the FA Cup in what
year? (they all look blank) No? Well, I'm not surprised you
didn't get that. It was in fact a trick question. Coventry City have
never won the FA Cup.
So with the scores all equal now we go onto our second round, and
Lenin it's your starter for ten. Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr won
the Eurovision Song Contest in 1959. What was the name of the song?
... Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr's song in the 1959 Eurovision Song
Contest? Anybody? (buzzer goes as in 'University Challenge'.'
zoom in on Mao Tse-tung) Yes, Mao Tse-tung?
Mao Tse-tung: 'Sing Little Birdie'?
Presenter: Yes it was indeed. Well challenged.
(applause) Well now we come on to our special gift section. The
contestant is Karl Marx and the prize this week is a beautiful
lounge suite. (curtains behind the presenter sweep open to reveal
a beautiful lounge suite; terrific audience applause; Karl comes out
and stands in front of this display) Now Karl has elected to,
answer questions on the workers' control of factories so here we go
with question number one. Are you nervous? (Karl nods his head;
the presenter reads from a card)
The development of the industrial proletariat is conditioned by
what other development?
Karl: The development of the industrial bourgeoisie.
Presenter: Yes, yes, it is indeed. You're on your way to
the lounge suite, Karl. Question number two. The struggle of class
against class is a what struggle? A what struggle?
Karl: A political struggle.
Presenter: Yes, yes! One final question Karl and the
beautiful lounge suite will be yours... Are you going to have a go?
(Karl nods) You're a brave man. Karl Marx, your final
question, who won the Cup Final in 1949?
Karl: The workers' control of the means of production? The
struggle of the urban proletariat?
Presenter: No. It was in fact, Wolverhampton Wanderers who
beat Leicester 3-1.
(Cut to stock film of goal bring scored in a big football
match. Roar from crowd. Stock footage of football crowds cheering.)
Voice Over: and CAPTION: 'IN "WORLD FORUM" TODAY: KARL
MARX, CHE GUEVARA, LENIN AND MAO TSE-TUNG. NEXT WEEK, FOUR LEADING
HEADS OF STATE OF THE AFRO-ASIAN NATIONS AGAINST BRISTOL ROVERS AT