(Stock film of fast moving Huns thundering around on
1st Voice Over: In the fifth century, as the once-mighty
Roman Empire crumbled, the soft underbelly of Western Europe lay
invitingly exposed to the barbarian hordes to the East. Alaric the
Visigoth, Galseric the Vandal and Theodoris the Ostrogoth in turn
swept westward in a reign of terror. But none surpassed in power and
cruelty the mighty Attila the Hun.
2nd Voice Over: Ladies and gentlemen, it's the 'The Attila
the Hun Show'.
(Cut to film. Music plays: 'The Debbie Reynolds Show' theme -
'With a little love, just a little love'. We see Attila the Hun
running towards Mrs. Attila the Hun in slow motion, laughing and
smiling. Caption on screen: 'THE ATTILA THE HUN SHOW' Attila and his
wife frolic and fall over in slow motion for a bit (copying Debbie
Reynolds credits as closely as possible). Captions:
'STARRING ATTILA THE HUN'
'AND RAY SLUDGE AS MRS ATTILA THE HUN'
'WITH TY GUDRUN AND NIK CON AS JENNY AND ROBIN ATTILA THE HUN'
'MUSIC BY THE HUNLETS'
Cut to stock film of fast-moving Huns on horseback.)
1st Voice Over: In the second quarter of the fifth
century, the Huns became a byword for merciless savagery. Their Khan
was the mighty warrior Attila. With his devastating armies he swept
across Central Europe.
(Cut to American-living-room-type set. Doorbell rings. Attila
the Hun enters the door.)
Attila: Oh darling, I'm home.
Mrs. Attila: Hello darling. Had a busy day at the office?
Attila: Not at all bad. (playing to camera) Another
merciless sweep across Central Europe.
Ms Attila: I won't say I'm glad to see you, but boy, am I
glad to see you.
(Enormous canned laughter and applause. Enter two kids.)
Jenny: Hi, daddy.
Robin: Hi, daddy.
Attila: Hi, Jenny, hi, Robby. (brief canned applause)
Hey, I've got a present for you two kids in that bag. (they pull
out a severed head) I want you kids to get a-head.
(Enormous shriek of canned laughter and applause. Enter one of
us blacked up like Rochester, holding a tray of drinks.)
Uncle Tom: Heah you are, Mr. Hun!
(Masses of dubbed applause.)
Attila: Hi, Uncle Tom.
Uncle Tom: There's a whole horde of them marauding
Visigoths to see y'all.
(Cut to more stock film of these Huns rushing about on their
horses. Superimposed image of announcer at his desk.)
Announcer: And now for something completely different.
It's Man: It's ...
(Massive canned applause. Animated credit titles.)