Monty Python ScriptsThe Man Who Speaks Only the Ends of Words / The Man Who Speaks Only the Beginnings of Words / The Man Who Speaks Only the Middles of WordsThe cast:
The sketch:(Enter from back of set as per Eamonn Andrews show Mr. Ohn lth. He sits at the desk) Mr. Ith: ... ood ... ing. Interviewer: Nice to have you on the show. Mr. Ith: ... ice ... o ... e ... ere. Interviewer: Mr. Ith, don't you find it very difficult to make yourself understood? Mr. Ith: Yes, it is extremely difficult. Interviewer: Just a minute, you're a fraud! Mr. Ith: Oh no. I can speak the third and fourth sentences perfectly normally. Interviewer: Oh I see. So your next sentence will be only the ends of words again? Mr. Ith: T's... ight. Interviewer: Well, let's move on to our next guest who speaks only the beginnings of words, Mr. J ... Sm... Mr. Sm... good evening. (Enter Mr. Sm.) Mr. Sm: G... e... Interviewer: Well, have you two met before? Mr. Sm: N... Mr. Ith: ... o Mr. Sm: N... Mr. Ith: ... o Interviewer: Well, this is really a fascinating occasion because we have in the studio Mr. ... oh ... I ... who speaks only the middles of words. Good evening. (Enter Scot.) Scot: .... oo ...... ni... Interviewer: Um, where do you come from? Scot: . .. u... i... a... Interviewer: Dunfermline in Scotland. Well let me introduce you, Mr. Ohn Ith... Mr. Ith: ... ood ... ing. Scot: ... oo ...... ni... Interviewer: J... Sm... Scot: ... oo ...... ni... Mr. Sm: G... Eve... Interviewer: Yes, well, ha, ha, just a moment. Perhaps you would all like to say good evening together. Mr. Sm: G... Scot: . .. oo... Mr. Ith: ... d Mr. Sm: Eve... Scot: ... ni... Mr. Ith: ... ing.
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