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The Man Who Speaks Only the Ends of Words / The Man Who Speaks Only the Beginnings of Words / The Man Who Speaks Only the Middles of Words

The cast:

INTERVIEWER
Terry Jones
MR. ITH
Eric Idle
MR. SM
John Cleese
SCOT
Michael Palin

The sketch:

(Enter from back of set as per Eamonn Andrews show Mr. Ohn lth. He sits at the desk)

Mr. Ith: ... ood ... ing.

Interviewer: Nice to have you on the show.

Mr. Ith: ... ice ... o ... e ... ere.

Interviewer: Mr. Ith, don't you find it very difficult to make yourself understood?

Mr. Ith: Yes, it is extremely difficult.

Interviewer: Just a minute, you're a fraud!

Mr. Ith: Oh no. I can speak the third and fourth sentences perfectly normally.

Interviewer: Oh I see. So your next sentence will be only the ends of words again?

Mr. Ith: T's... ight.

Interviewer: Well, let's move on to our next guest who speaks only the beginnings of words, Mr. J ... Sm... Mr. Sm... good evening.

(Enter Mr. Sm.)

Mr. Sm: G... e...

Interviewer: Well, have you two met before?

Mr. Sm: N...

Mr. Ith: ... o

Mr. Sm: N...

Mr. Ith: ... o

Interviewer: Well, this is really a fascinating occasion because we have in the studio Mr. ... oh ... I ... who speaks only the middles of words. Good evening.

(Enter Scot.)

Scot: .... oo ...... ni...

Interviewer: Um, where do you come from?

Scot: . .. u... i... a...

Interviewer: Dunfermline in Scotland. Well let me introduce you, Mr. Ohn Ith...

Mr. Ith: ... ood ... ing.

Scot: ... oo ...... ni...

Interviewer: J... Sm...

Scot: ... oo ...... ni...

Mr. Sm: G... Eve...

Interviewer: Yes, well, ha, ha, just a moment. Perhaps you would all like to say good evening together.

Mr. Sm: G...

Scot: . .. oo...

Mr. Ith: ... d

Mr. Sm: Eve...

Scot: ... ni...

Mr. Ith: ... ing.

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