Monty Python Scripts

The Man Who Says Things in a Very Roundabout Way

The cast:

INTERVIEWER

Terry Jones

MR. PUDIFOOT

Graham Chapman

The sketch:

CAPTION: 'THE TOAD ELEVATING MOMENT'

(Pompous music. Mix to spinning globe and then to two men in a studio.)

Interviewer: Good evening. Well, we have in the studio tonight a man who says things in a very roundabout way. Isn't that so, Mr. Pudifoot.

Mr. Pudifoot: Yes.

Interviewer: Have you always said things in a very roundabout way?

Mr. Pudifoot: Yes.

Interviewer: Well, I can't help noticing that, for someone who claims to say things in a very roundabout way, your last two answers have very little of the discursive quality about them.

Mr. Pudifoot: Oh, well, I'm not very talkative today. It's a form of defensive response to intensive interrogative stimuli. I used to get it badly when I was a boy ... well, I say very badly, in fact, do you remember when there was that fashion for, you know, little poodles with small coats...

Interviewer: Ah, now you're beginning to talk in a roundabout way.

Mr. Pudifoot: Oh, I'm sorry.

Interviewer: No, no, no, no. Please do carry on ... because that is in fact why we wanted you on the show.

Mr. Pudifoot: I thought it was because you were interested in me as a human being. (gets up and leaves)

Interviewer: Well... lets move on to our guest who not only lives in Essex but also speaks only the ends of words. Mr. Ohn Ith. Mr. Ith, good evening.

Monty Python Scripts

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