(Opening Scene : A tourist dressed in a business suit
approaches a shepherd. The sounds of sheep and the outdoors are
Tourist: Good afternoon.
Tourist: Ah, lovely day isn't it?
Shepherd: Eh, 'tis that.
Tourist: You here on holiday?
Shepherd: Nope, I live 'ere.
Tourist: Oh, good for you. Uh...those ARE sheep
Tourist: Hmm, thought they were. Only, what are
they doing up in the trees?
Shepherd: A fair question and one that in recent
weeks 'as been much on my mind. It's my considered opinion that
Tourist: Like birds?
Shepherd: Exactly. It's my belief that these
sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds.
Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op
about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attempts to fly
from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as...plummet.
(Baaa baaa... flap flap flap... whoosh... thud.)
Tourist: Yes, but why do they think they're
Shepherd: Another fair question. One thing is
for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous
difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin'. (Baaa
baaa... flap flap flap... whoosh... thud.) Trouble is, sheep are
very dim. Once they get an idea in their 'eads, there's no shiftin'
Tourist: But where did they get the idea?
Shepherd: From Harold. He's that most dangerous
of creatures, a clever sheep. 'e's realized that a sheep's life
consists of standin' around for a few months and then bein' eaten.
And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep.
Tourist: Well why don't you just remove Harold?
Shepherd: Because of the enormous commercial
possibilities if 'e succeeds.
Voice Over : And what exactly are the commercial
possibilities of ovine aviation?
(Continued in the Sketch French lecture on Sheep Aircraft)