(ANIMATION: a beautiful and not zany introduction, perhaps
with photos of famous historical characters, finishing with the
words: 'The World of History '. Cut to man at desk. Caption on
screen: 'PROFESSOR R. J. CANNING')
Canning: 1348. The Black Death, typhus, cholera,
consumption, bubonic plague.
(Cut to five undertakers sitting on a coffin in a country
First Undertaker: Ah, those were the days...
(Back to Canning at his desk.)
Canning: Now I'm... I'm... Now I'm not prepared to go on
with this, unless these interruptions cease. All fight? Right. The
devastating effect of these, em...
(Cut to film of hearses racing. Crashing out of shot. Sign:
'Accident Black Spot', and the undertakers picnicking.)
Canning: (he is packing up his papers and putting on
his mac as he walks away from desk, camera pans with him) No,
don't follow me and ... (camera zooms in) And don't zoom in
on me, no I'm off, I'm off. That's it. That's all. I'm off.
(He walks out of shot. Empty flame. A short pause. An
undertaker comes into frame.)
Second Undertaker: (to camera) Are you nervy,
irritable, depressed, tired of life. (winks) Keep it up.