Monty Python Scripts

Letter (Lavatorial Humor)

The cast:

MAN

Michael Palin

FIRST VOICE OVER

John Cleese

SECOND VOICE OVER

Eric Idle

THIRD VOICE OVER

Michael Plain

The sketch:

(Caption on Screen : 'THE ROYAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA GOES TO THE BATHROOM'. Cut to bathroom door, outside. Man knocks on door.)

Man: Have you finished in there yet?

(From inside comes a burst of the Tchaikovsky piano concerto. He tuts. Cut to letter and voice over.)

First Voice Over: Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious lavatorial turn this show has already taken. Why do we never hear about the good things in Britain, like Mary Bignall's wonderful jump in 1964? Yours etc., Ken Voyeur.

(Stock film of Mary Bignall's winning jump at the Rome Olympics. Letter and voice over.)

Second Voice Over: Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious athletic turn this show has now taken. Why can't we hear more about the human body? There is nothing embarrassing or nasty about the human body except for the intestines and bits of the bottom.

(We see another letter and another voice over.)

Third Voice Over: Dear Sir, I object strongly to the letters on your program. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

(Stock film of the whole of an orchestra finishing an orchestral item. When they finish playing we hear the sound of flushing.)

Monty Python Scripts

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