(Caption on Screen : 'THE ROYAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA GOES TO
THE BATHROOM'. Cut to bathroom door, outside. Man knocks on door.)
Man: Have you finished in there yet?
(From inside comes a burst of the Tchaikovsky piano concerto.
He tuts. Cut to letter and voice over.)
First Voice Over: Dear Sir, I object strongly to the
obvious lavatorial turn this show has already taken. Why do we never
hear about the good things in Britain, like Mary Bignall's wonderful
jump in 1964? Yours etc., Ken Voyeur.
(Stock film of Mary Bignall's winning jump at the Rome
Olympics. Letter and voice over.)
Second Voice Over: Dear Sir, I object strongly to the
obvious athletic turn this show has now taken. Why can't we hear
more about the human body? There is nothing embarrassing or nasty
about the human body except for the intestines and bits of the
(We see another letter and another voice over.)
Third Voice Over: Dear Sir, I object strongly to the
letters on your program. They are clearly not written by the general
public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely
etc., William Knickers.
(Stock film of the whole of an orchestra finishing an
orchestral item. When they finish playing we hear the sound of