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The Meaning of Life ScriptPart IV: Middle AgeThe sketch:ANNOUNCER: Middle Age. FISH #6: Oh. Could've guessed it. MR. MARVIN HENDY: Oh, that's much better. Thank you, honey. MRS. HENDY: You're welcome. MR. HENDY: Mmmm. It was all sort of misty before. MRS. HENDY: M-hmm. MR. HENDY: That's fine. M'LADY JOELINE: Hi! How are you? MR. HENDY: Oh, we're just fine! JOELINE: What kind of food 'd you like to eat this evening? MR. HENDY: Well, we sort of like pineapples. JOELINE: Pineapple. Mmm. MRS. HENDY: Yeah, we love pineapple. JOELINE: Mmm. MR. HENDY: Yeah, anything with pineapple in it is great for us. JOELINE: Mm. Well, how about the Dungeon Room? MRS. HENDY: Oh, look. MR. HENDY: Ohh, that sounds fine! JOELINE: Sure is. It's real Hawaiian food served in an authentic, medieval English dungeon atmosphere. MR. HENDY: Ohh? MRS. HENDY: It's-- PRISONER: Aaaaaaaaaaah! MR. HENDY: Hmm m mm mm mmmm mm mm mmmm. Isn't this nice? Ha hah. Why not? Good shot. Real Kodak. Oh! Thank you. Thank you very much. Hm mm mmmm. Dah dah... PRISONER: Aaaaaaaaaaah! MR. HENDY: ...dah dah dah dah daah. Daah. MRS. HENDY: Hm. MR. HENDY: Huhh huh mm. Mmm. MRS. HENDY: Hmm hmm. MR. HENDY: H-mmm. MRS. HENDY: Hmm. MR. HENDY: Mmm. WAITER: Good evening! Uhh, would you care for something to... talk about? MR. HENDY: Oh, that would be wonderful. WAITER: Our special tonight is minorities! MR. HENDY: Ohh, that sounds real interesting. MRS. HENDY: Um, what's this conversation here? WAITER: Uh, that's, uh, 'football'. There you can talk about the Steelers-Bears game this Saturday, or you could, uh, reminisce about really great World Series. MRS. HENDY: No, no, no, no. MR. HENDY: What is this one here? WAITER: Uhh, that's 'philosophy'. MRS. HENDY: Is that a sport? WAITER: Aah, no, it's more of an attempt to, uh, construct a viable hypothesis to, uh, explain the meaning of life. FISH #3: What was that? FISH #5: What's he say? FISH #4: What was that?! FISH #2: Shush. FISH #5: Eh? MR. HENDY: Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling? MRS. HENDY: Sure. Why not? WAITER: Philosophy for two? MR. HENDY: Right. WAITER: Room? MR. HENDY: Two-five-nine. WAITER: Two-five-nine. MR. HENDY: Yup. Uhh,-- uh, h-- how do we-- WAITER: Oh, uhh, you folks want me to start you off? MR. HENDY: Oh, really, we'd appreciate that. WAITER: Okay! MR. HENDY: Yeah. WAITER: Well, ehh,... MR. HENDY: Mhmm. WAITER: ...look. Have you ever wondered... just why you're here? MR. HENDY: Well, we went to Miami last year and California the year before that, and we've-- WAITER: No, no, no. I mean, uh, w-- why we're here... on this planet. MR. HENDY: Hmmm. No. WAITER: Right! Aaah, you ever wanted to know what it's all about? MR. HENDY: Nope. MRS. HENDY: No. No. WAITER: Right-o! Aah, well, uh, see, throughout history,... MR. HENDY: M-hmm. WAITER: ...there have been certain men and women who have tried to find the solution to the mysteries of existence,... MRS. HENDY: G-reat. WAITER: ...and we call these guys 'philosophers'! MR. HENDY: Ohh. MRS. HENDY: And that's what we're talking about. WAITER: Right! MR. HENDY: Yeah. MRS. HENDY: Ohh, that's neat! WAITER: Well, you look like you're getting the idea, so why don't I give you these, uh, conversation cards? They'll tell you a little about philosophical method,... MR. HENDY: Oh. WAITER: ...names of famous philosophers,-- Uh, there you are. Uhh, have a nice conversation! MR. HENDY: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. MRS. HENDY: He's cute. MR. HENDY: Yeah, real-- MRS. HENDY: Yeah. MR. HENDY: Real understanding. Mmm. MRS. HENDY: Oh! I never knew Schopenhauer was a philosopher! MR. HENDY: Oh, yeah! He's the one that begins with an 'S'. MRS. HENDY: Oh. MR. HENDY: Umm, like, uh, 'Nietzsche'. MRS. HENDY: Does 'Nietzsche' begin with an 'S'? MR. HENDY: Uh, there's an 's' in 'Nietzsche'. MRS. HENDY: Oh, wow. Yes, there is. Do all philosophers have an 's' in them? MR. HENDY: Uh, yeah! I think most of 'em do. MRS. HENDY: Oh. Does that mean Selina Jones is a philosopher? MR. HENDY: Yeah! Right! She could be! She sings about the meaning of life. MRS. HENDY: Yeah. That's right, but I don't think she writes her own material. MR. HENDY: No. Oh, maybe Schopenhauer writes her material. MRS. HENDY: No. Burt Bacharach writes it. MR. HENDY: But there's no 's' in 'Burt Bacharach'. MRS. HENDY: Or in 'Hal David'. MR. HENDY: Who's Hal David? MRS. HENDY: He writes the lyrics. Burt just writes the tunes, only now, he's married to Carole Bayer Sager. MR. HENDY: Oh, waiter. This conversation isn't very good. WAITER: Oh, I'm sorry, sir! Uhh, we do have one today that's not on the menu. It's sort of a specialty of the house, you know. MR. HENDY: Oh, yes. WAITER: 'Live Organ Transplants'. MRS. HENDY: 'Live Organ Transplants'? What's that?
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Meaning
of Life Scripts
