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The Meaning of Life Script

Find the Fish

The sketch:

[music]

STRANGE MAN: I wonder where that fish has gone.

STRANGE WOMAN: You did love it so. You looked after it like a son.

STRANGE MAN: And it went wherever I did go.

STRANGE WOMAN: Is it in the cupboard?

AUDIENCE: Yes! Yes! No!...

STRANGE WOMAN: Wouldn't you like to know? It was a lovely little fish.

STRANGE MAN: And it went wherever I did go.

MAN IN AUDIENCE: It's behind the sofa!

STRANGE WOMAN: Where can that fish be?

MAN IN AUDIENCE: Have you thought of the drawers in the bureau?!

RANDOM: Shh!

STRANGE WOMAN: It is a most elusive fish!

STRANGE MAN: And it went wherever I did go.

STRANGE WOMAN: Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!

STRANGE MAN: A-fish, a-fish, a-fish, a-fishy, ooooh.

STRANGE WOMAN: Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!

STRANGE MAN: That went wherever I did go.

MAN IN AUDIENCE: Look up his trunk!

MAN IN AUDIENCE: Yeah, it's hidden in his trousers!
[gurgling]

FISH #1: That was terrific!

FISH #2: Great!

FISH #4: Wonderful.

FISH #2: Yeah!

FISH #5: Yeah.

FISH #3: Best bit so far.

FISHES: [mumbling]

FISH #2: Fantastic!

FISH #1: Yeah.

FISH #2: Yes! Really great!

FISH #6: Very piscine.

FISH #5: Ha ha hah.

FISH #6: Yeah. Hee, hee, hee, hee.

FISH #4: Oh!

FISH #6: Ahh.

FISH #1: Heh.
[pause]

FISH #2: They haven't said much about the meaning of life so far, have they?

FISH #1: Well, it's been building up to it.

FISH #4: Has it?

FISH #2: Has it?

FISH #3: Yeah, I expect they'll get on to it now.

FISH #5: Personally, I very much doubt if they're going to say anything about the meaning of life at all.

FISH #6: Oh, come on. They've got to say something.

FISH #3: They're bound to.

FISH #2: Yeah.

FISH #4: Yeah.

FISH #1: Yeah.
[pause]

FISH #3: What do you think the next bit will be, then?

FISH #1: Caption, I expect.

FISH #6: What? About the next stage of life, you mean? Oh, yeah. Here we go.

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