Life of Brian Script
Scene 4: Stonings: How to Find that Perfect Rock
MANDY: Ohh, I hate wearing these beards.
BRIAN: Why aren't women allowed go to stonings, Mum?
MANDY: It's written. That's why.
HARRY THE HAGGLER: Pssst! Beard, madam?
DONKEY OWNER: Oh, look. I haven't got time to go to no
stonings. He's not well again.
HARRY THE HAGGLER: Stones, sir?
MANDY: Naah. They've got a lot there, lying around on the
HARRY THE HAGGLER: Oh, not like these, sir. Look at this. Feel
the quality of that. That's craftsmanship, sir.
MANDY: Hmmm. Aah, all right. We'll have, uh, two with points
and... a big flat one.
BRIAN: Could I have a flat one, Mum?
BRIAN: Sorry. Dad.
MANDY: Ehh, all right. Two points, ah, two flats, and a packet
HARRY THE HAGGLER: Packet of gravel. Should be a good one this
HARRY THE HAGGLER: Local boy.
MANDY: Oh, good.
HARRY THE HAGGLER: Enjoy yourselves.