Life of Brian Script
Scene 30: Get Your Red Hot Calvary Souvenirs!
crucifixion party music
ALFONSO: Ohh. Ohh. Ohh. Oh. Oh.
SAINTLY PASSER-BY: Let me shoulder your burden, brother. Uh.
ALFONSO: Oh, thank you.
SAINTLY PASSER-BY: Uh. H-- hey!
PARVUS: Oh, hey! What d'you think you're doing?
SAINTLY PASSER-BY: Ah, i-- it's not my cross.
PARVUS: Shut up and get on with it!
MR. CHEEKY: Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He had you
there, mate. Didn't he? That'll teach you a lesson. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
SOUVENIR SHOPKEEPER: Souvenir of Calvary. Very nice little
item, this. Wrap it 'round a lamp and the crosses twinkle on and off.
Very nice. Doubles as a tablecloth or a curtain or--
SOUVENIR SHOPKEEPER: Totally washab-- Oh, Pilate at it again,
eh? Well, how about this, then? A couple of crosses. One slightly
damaged, only very sl--