Life of Brian Script
Scene 18: The Holy Gourd of Jerusalem
FOLLOWERS: ...Look! Ah! Oh! Oh!
ARTHUR: He has given us a sign!
SHOE FOLLOWER: He has given us... His shoe!
ARTHUR: The shoe is the sign. Let us follow His example.
ARTHUR: Let us, like Him, hold up one shoe and let the other
be upon our foot, for this is His sign, that all who follow Him shall do
SHOE FOLLOWER: No, no, no. The shoe is...
SHOE FOLLOWER: ...a sign that we must gather shoes together in
GIRL: Cast off...
SPIKE: Aye. What?
GIRL: ...the shoes! Follow the Gourd!
SHOE FOLLOWER: No! Let us gather shoes together!
SHOE FOLLOWER: Let me!
ELSIE: Oh, get off!
YOUTH: No, no! It is a sign that, like Him, we must think not
of the things of the body, but of the face and head!
SHOE FOLLOWER: Give me your shoe!
YOUTH: Get off!
GIRL: Follow the Gourd! The Holy Gourd of Jerusalem!
FOLLOWER: The Gourd!
HARRY: Hold up the sandal, as He has commanded us!
ARTHUR: It is a shoe! It is a shoe!
HARRY: It's a sandal!
ARTHUR: No, it isn't!
GIRL: Cast it away!
ARTHUR: Put it on!
YOUTH: And clear off!
SHOE FOLLOWER: Take the shoes and follow Him!
GIRL: ...all ye who call yourself Gourdenes!
SPIKE: Stop! Stop! Stop, I say! Stop! Let us-- let us pray.
Yea, He cometh to us, like the seed to the grain.