|
|
|
Monty Python and The Holy GrailScene 22: The Bridgekeeper Doesn't Swallow[gurgle] GALAHAD: There it is! ARTHUR: The Bridge of Death! ROBIN: Oh, great. ARTHUR: Look! There's the old man from scene twenty-four! BEDEVERE: What is he doing here? ARTHUR: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each traveller five questions-- GALAHAD: Three questions. ARTHUR: Three questions. He who answers the five questions-- GALAHAD: Three questions. ARTHUR: Three questions may cross in safety. ROBIN: What if you get a question wrong? ARTHUR: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. ROBIN: Oh, I won't go. GALAHAD: Who's going to answer the questions? ARTHUR: Sir Robin! ROBIN: Yes? ARTHUR: Brave Sir Robin, you go. ROBIN: Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Lancelot go? LANCELOT: Yes. Let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed. I shall make a feint to the north-east that s-- ARTHUR: No, no. No. Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Just answer the five questions-- GALAHAD: Three questions. ARTHUR: Three questions as best you can, and we shall watch... and pray. LANCELOT: I understand, my liege. ARTHUR: Good luck, brave Sir Lancelot. God be with you. BRIDGEKEEPER: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. LANCELOT: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is your name? LANCELOT: My name is 'Sir Lancelot of Camelot'. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is your quest? LANCELOT: To seek the Holy Grail. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is your favorite color? LANCELOT: Blue. BRIDGEKEEPER: Right. Off you go. LANCELOT: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. ROBIN: That's easy! BRIDGEKEEPER: Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. ROBIN: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is your name? ROBIN: 'Sir Robin of Camelot'. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is your quest? ROBIN: To seek the Holy Grail. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is the capital of Assyria? [pause] ROBIN: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh! BRIDGEKEEPER: Stop! What... is your name? GALAHAD: 'Sir Galahad of Camelot'. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is your quest? GALAHAD: I seek the Grail. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is your favorite color? GALAHAD: Blue. No, yel-- auuuuuuuugh! BRIDGEKEEPER: Hee hee heh. Stop! What... is your name? ARTHUR: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is your quest? ARTHUR: To seek the Holy Grail. BRIDGEKEEPER: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow? BRIDGEKEEPER: Huh? I-- I don't know that. Auuuuuuuugh! BEDEVERE: How do know so much about swallows? ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know. [suspenseful music] [music suddenly stops] [intermission] [suspenseful music resumes]
|
|||||||
Holy
Grail Scripts
