Monty Python and The Holy Grail
Scene 17: How to Find that Perfect Shrubbery
[King Arthur music]
[clop clop clop]
[rewr! rewr! rewr! rewr! rewr! rewr!]
ARTHUR: Old crone!
[rewr!]
[music stops]
Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery?
[dramatic chord]
OLD CRONE: Who sent you?
ARTHUR: The Knights Who Say 'Ni'.
CRONE: Aggh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here.
ARTHUR: If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my
friend and I will say... we will say... 'ni'.
CRONE: Agh! Do your worst!
ARTHUR: Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily,...
ni!
CRONE: No! Never! No shrubberies!
ARTHUR: Ni!
CRONE: [cough]
BEDEVERE: Nu!
ARTHUR: No, no, no, no, i--
BEDEVERE: Nu!
ARTHUR: No, it's not that. It's 'ni'.
BEDEVERE: Nu!
ARTHUR: No, no. 'Ni'. You're not doing it properly. No.
BEDEVERE: Ni!
ARTHUR and BEDEVERE: Ni!
ARTHUR: That's it. That's it. You've got it.
ARTHUR and BEDEVERE: Ni!
CRONE: Ohh!
BEDEVERE: Ni!
ARTHUR: Ni!
CRONE: Agh!
BEDEVERE: Ni!
ARTHUR: Ni!
BEDEVERE: Ni!
ARTHUR: Ni!
BEDEVERE: Ni!
ROGER THE SHRUBBER: Are you saying 'ni' to that old woman?
ARTHUR: Erm,... yes.
ROGER: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can
say 'ni' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land.
Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are
under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
ARTHUR: Did you say 'shrubberies'?
ROGER: Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name
is 'Roger the Shrubber'. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
BEDEVERE: Ni!
ARTHUR: No! No, no, no! No!
|