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Monty Python and The Holy GrailScene 17: How to Find that Perfect Shrubbery[King Arthur music] [clop clop clop] [rewr! rewr! rewr! rewr! rewr! rewr!] ARTHUR: Old crone! [rewr!] [music stops] Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery? [dramatic chord] OLD CRONE: Who sent you? ARTHUR: The Knights Who Say 'Ni'. CRONE: Aggh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here. ARTHUR: If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I will say... we will say... 'ni'. CRONE: Agh! Do your worst! ARTHUR: Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily,... ni! CRONE: No! Never! No shrubberies! ARTHUR: Ni! CRONE: [cough] BEDEVERE: Nu! ARTHUR: No, no, no, no, i-- BEDEVERE: Nu! ARTHUR: No, it's not that. It's 'ni'. BEDEVERE: Nu! ARTHUR: No, no. 'Ni'. You're not doing it properly. No. BEDEVERE: Ni! ARTHUR and BEDEVERE: Ni! ARTHUR: That's it. That's it. You've got it. ARTHUR and BEDEVERE: Ni! CRONE: Ohh! BEDEVERE: Ni! ARTHUR: Ni! CRONE: Agh! BEDEVERE: Ni! ARTHUR: Ni! BEDEVERE: Ni! ARTHUR: Ni! BEDEVERE: Ni! ROGER THE SHRUBBER: Are you saying 'ni' to that old woman? ARTHUR: Erm,... yes. ROGER: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say 'ni' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history. ARTHUR: Did you say 'shrubberies'? ROGER: Yes. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is 'Roger the Shrubber'. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. BEDEVERE: Ni! ARTHUR: No! No, no, no! No!
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Holy
Grail Scripts
