Monty Python and The Holy GrailScene 18: Shrubbery or Herring? That is the QuestionARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, we have brought you your shrubbery. May we go now? HEAD KNIGHT: It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly,... but there is one small problem. ARTHUR: What is that? HEAD KNIGHT: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'Ni'. KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Shh! HEAD KNIGHT: Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zu-owly-zhiv'. RANDOM: Ni! HEAD KNIGHT: Therefore, we must give you a test. ARTHUR: What is this test, O Knights of-- knights who till recently said 'ni'? HEAD KNIGHT: Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery! [dramatic chord] ARTHUR: Not another shrubbery! RANDOM: Ni! HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle. KNIGHTS OF NI: A path! A path! A path! Ni! Shh! Knights of Ni! Ni! Ni! Shh! Shh!... HEAD KNIGHT: Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring! [dramatic chord] KNIGHTS OF NI: A herring! ARTHUR: We shall do no such thing! HEAD KNIGHT: Oh, please! ARTHUR: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done. KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh! HEAD KNIGHT: Augh! Ohh! Don't say that word. ARTHUR: What word? HEAD KNIGHT: I cannot tell, suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of Ni cannot hear. ARTHUR: How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is? KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh! HEAD KNIGHT: You said it again! ARTHUR: What, 'is'? KNIGHTS OF NI: Agh! No, not 'is'. HEAD KNIGHT: No, not 'is'. You wouldn't get vary far in life not saying 'is'. KNIGHTS OF NI: No, not 'is'. Not 'is'. BEDEVERE: My liege, it's Sir Robin! MINSTREL: [singing] He is packing it in and packing it up And sneaking away and buggering up And chickening out and pissing off home, Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge. ARTHUR: Sir Robin! ROBIN: My liege! It's good to see you. HEAD KNIGHT: Now he's said the word! ARTHUR: Surely you've not given up your quest for the Holy Grail? MINSTREL: [singing] He is sneaking away and buggering up-- ROBIN: Shut up! No, no. No. Far from it. HEAD KNIGHT: He said the word again! KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh! ROBIN: I was looking for it. KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh! ROBIN: Uh, here-- here in this forest. ARTHUR: No, it is far from this place. KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh! HEAD KNIGHT: Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word! The word... ARTHUR: Oh, stop it! HEAD KNIGHT: ...we cannot hear! Ow! He said it again! ARTHUR: Patsy! HEAD KNIGHT: Wait! I said it! I said it! [clop clop clop] Ooh! I said it again! And there again! That's three 'it's! Ohh! KNIGHTS OF NI: Aaaaugh!... Narrative Interlude NARRATOR: And so, Arthur and Bedevere and Sir Robin set out on their search to find the enchanter of whom the old man had spoken in scene twenty-four. Beyond the forest, they met Lancelot and Galahad, and there was much rejoicing. KNIGHTS: Yay! Yay! [whoosh] NARRATOR: In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels. MINSTREL: [high-pitched] Get back! Eee! NARRATOR: And there was much rejoicing. KNIGHTS: Yay! NARRATOR: A year passed. CARTOON CHARACTER: [shivering] NARRATOR: Winter changed into Spring. CARTOON CHARACTER: Mmm, nice. NARRATOR: Spring changed into Summer. CARTOON CHARACTER: Oh. Ahh. NARRATOR: Summer changed back into Winter,... CARTOON CHARACTER: Oh? NARRATOR: ...and Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn. CARTOON CHARACTER: Aah. [snap] Oh! Waa! NARRATOR: Until one day...
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