Main Page TV Series Scripts Monty Python and The Holy Grail Script The Meaning of Life Script Life of Brian Scripts Silly Links

Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Scene 12: Knights With A Repetitive Tendency to Repetively Say Ni Repetively

[spooky music]

[music stops]

HEAD KNIGHT OF NI: Ni!

KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

ARTHUR: Who are you?

HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!

RANDOM: Ni!

ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!

HEAD KNIGHT: The same!

BEDEVERE: Who are they?

HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: 'Ni', 'Peng', and 'Neee-wom'!

RANDOM: Neee-wom!

ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale.

HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice.

ARTHUR: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travellers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.

HEAD KNIGHT: Ni!

KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!...

ARTHUR: Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!

HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'ni' again to you if you do not appease us.

ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?

HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery!

[dramatic chord]

ARTHUR: A what?

KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

ARTHUR and PARTY: Ow! Oh!

ARTHUR: Please! Please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery.

HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery, or else, you will never pass through this wood... alive.

ARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.

HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.

ARTHUR: Of course.

HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.

ARTHUR: Yes.

HEAD KNIGHT: Now... go!

Cartoon

[trumpets]

CARTOON CHARACTER: Hmm hmm--

[boom]

Oh! Great Scott! Hm. Hmm.

[boom]

Hm! Hmm.

[mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom]

Ohh!

[crash] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom]

SUN: Ay, up! Thsss.

[boom]

Ayy, up!

[boom]

Thsss.

[boom]

Ayy, up!

CARTOON CHARACTER: Stop that! Stop that!

[boom]

SUN: Ay, up!

CARTOON CHARACTER: Stop that!

[boom]

Look on! Clear off! Go on! Go away! Go away! Go away! And you! Clear off!

[sniff]

SUN: [mumble mumble mumble] [bells]

CARTOON CHARACTER: Hah. Bloody weather.

Monty Python and The Holy Grail ScriptHoly Grail Scripts Next SceneNext Scene

 

Main Page | Monty Python and The Holy Grail Sounds | Monty Python and The Holy Grail Script | Monty Python's Flying Circus Scripts | Monty Python Sounds | The Meaning of Life Script | Life of Brian Script | Silly Links

 

Business Affiliate Programs Deals Personals Advertising Shopping