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Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Scene 12: Knights With A Repetitive Tendency to Repetively Say Ni Repetively

[spooky music]

[music stops]

HEAD KNIGHT OF NI: Ni!

KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

ARTHUR: Who are you?

HEAD KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say... 'Ni'!

RANDOM: Ni!

ARTHUR: No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Ni'!

HEAD KNIGHT: The same!

BEDEVERE: Who are they?

HEAD KNIGHT: We are the keepers of the sacred words: 'Ni', 'Peng', and 'Neee-wom'!

RANDOM: Neee-wom!

ARTHUR: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale.

HEAD KNIGHT: The Knights Who Say 'Ni' demand a sacrifice.

ARTHUR: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travellers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.

HEAD KNIGHT: Ni!

KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!...

ARTHUR: Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!

HEAD KNIGHT: We shall say 'ni' again to you if you do not appease us.

ARTHUR: Well, what is it you want?

HEAD KNIGHT: We want... a shrubbery!

[dramatic chord]

ARTHUR: A what?

KNIGHTS OF NI: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

ARTHUR and PARTY: Ow! Oh!

ARTHUR: Please! Please! No more! We will find you a shrubbery.

HEAD KNIGHT: You must return here with a shrubbery, or else, you will never pass through this wood... alive.

ARTHUR: O Knights of Ni, you are just and fair, and we will return with a shrubbery.

HEAD KNIGHT: One that looks nice.

ARTHUR: Of course.

HEAD KNIGHT: And not too expensive.

ARTHUR: Yes.

HEAD KNIGHT: Now... go!

Cartoon

[trumpets]

CARTOON CHARACTER: Hmm hmm--

[boom]

Oh! Great Scott! Hm. Hmm.

[boom]

Hm! Hmm.

[mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom]

Ohh!

[crash] [mumble mumble mumble] [boom]

SUN: Ay, up! Thsss.

[boom]

Ayy, up!

[boom]

Thsss.

[boom]

Ayy, up!

CARTOON CHARACTER: Stop that! Stop that!

[boom]

SUN: Ay, up!

CARTOON CHARACTER: Stop that!

[boom]

Look on! Clear off! Go on! Go away! Go away! Go away! And you! Clear off!

[sniff]

SUN: [mumble mumble mumble] [bells]

CARTOON CHARACTER: Hah. Bloody weather.

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