Monty Python Scripts

'Boxing Tonight' - Jack Bodell vs. Sir Kenneth Clark

The cast:

VOICE OVER

Michael Palin

SIR KENNETH

Graham Chapman

ANNOUNCER

John Cleese

'IT'S' MAN

Michael

The sketch:

(A floodlit boxing ring. Sports program music.)

SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'BOXING TONIGHT'

Voice Over: 'Boxing Tonight' comes from the Empire Pool, Wembley and features the main heavyweight bout between Jack Bodell, British and Empire Heavyweight Champion. (cheers; shot of Bodell in his comer with two seconds) And Sir Kenneth Clark ... (shot of Clark's corner; he is in a dressing-gown with 'Sir Kenneth Clark' on the back; both take off their dressing-gowns as referee calls them together; Sir Kenneth is wearing a tweed suit underneath) It's the first time these two have met so there should be some real action tonight...

(The bell goes. Crowd noise. Sir Kenneth wanders around as in 'Civilization '.)

Sir Kenneth: This then is the height of the English Renaissance, the triumph of Classical over Gothic ... the ...

(Bodell swing a left and knocks Sir Kenneth down.)

Voice Over: He's down! Sir Kenneth Clark is down in eight seconds. But he's up again. He's up at six...

Sir Kenneth: The almost ordered facades of Palladio's villas reflects the...

(Bodell knocks him down again.)

Voice Over: And he's down again, and I don't think he's going to get up this time. (referee counts Sir Kenneth Clark out and holds up Bodell hand) No, so Jack Bodell has defeated Sir Kenneth Clark in the very first round here tonight and so this big Lincolnshire heavyweight becomes the new Oxford Professor of Fine Art.

(Zoom in to the ring. The announcer appears in DJ and takes a mike lowered on a wire.)

Announcer: Thank you, thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. And now...

(Cut to a corner of the ring. The nude organist at his organ, plays a chord, turns and grins. Cut to the opposite corner; the 'It's' man on his stool.)

It's Man: It's...

(Animated introduction to show)

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