(Cut to an interview set.)
Interviewer: The Magna Cana - was it a document signed at
Runnymede in 1215 by King John pledging independence to the English
barons, or was it a piece of chewing gum on a bedspread in Dorset?
The latter idea is the brainchild of a man new to the field of
historical research. Mr. Badger, why - why are you on this program?
(Pull back to show Mr. Badger. He wears a flat cap and has a
Badger: Well, I think I can answer this question most
successfully in mime. (mimes incomprehensibly)
Interviewer: But why Dorset?
Badger: Well, I have for a long time been suffering from a
species of brain injury which I incurred during the rigors of
childbirth, and I'd like to conclude by putting my finger up my
Interviewer: Mr. Badger, I think you're the silliest
person we've ever had on this program, and so I'm going to ask you
to have dinner with me.
CAPTION: 'LATER THE SAME SKETCH'
(Cut to them sitting at a restaurant table.)
Badger: My wife Maureen ran off with a bottle of Bell's
whisky during the Aberdeen versus Raith Rovers match which ended in
a goalless draw. Robson particularly, in goal, had a magnificent
first half, his fine positional sense preventing the build-up of any
severe pressure on the suspect Aberdeen defense. McLoughlan missed
an easy chance to clinch the game towards the final whistle but
Raith must be well satisfied with their point.
Interviewer: Do please go on. This is the least
fascinating conversation I've ever had.
(A waiter comes in.)
Waiter: Would you like to order sir?
Interviewer: Yes, Mr. Badger, what .would you like to
Badger: Er, I'll have a whisky to start with.
Waiter: For first course, sir?
Waiter: And for main course, sir?
Badger: I'll have a whisky for main course and I'll follow
that with a whisky for pudding.
Waiter: Yes sir, and what would you like with it, sir? A
Badger: No, a bottle of wine.
Waiter: Fine, sir, he said between clenched teeth knowing
full well it was a most unrewarding part.
Interviewer: This is the silliest sketch I've ever been
Badger: Shall we stop it?
Interviewer: Yeah, all right. (they get up and walk
CAPTION: 'THE END'