Presenter: Good evening. Tonight: "dinosaurs". I have
here, sitting in the studio next to me, an elk. Ahhhh!!! Oh, I'm
sorry! Anne Elk - Mrs. Anne Elk
Anne Elk: Miss!
Presenter: Miss Anne Elk, who is an expert on di...
Anne Elk: N' n' n' n' no! Anne Elk!
Anne Elk: Anne Elk, not Anne Expert!
Presenter: No! No, I was saying that you, Miss Anne Elk,
were an , A-N not A-N-N-E, expert...
Anne Elk: Oh!
Presenter: ...on elks - I'm sorry, on dinosaurs. I'm ...
Anne Elk: Yes, I certainly am, Chris. How very true. My
Presenter: Now, Miss Elk - Anne - you have a new theory
about the brontosaurus.
Anne Elk: Can I just say here, Chris for one moment, that
I have a new theory about the brontosaurus?
Presenter: Uh... Exactly... What is it?
Anne Elk: Where?
Presenter: No! No, what is your theory?
Anne Elk: What is my theory?
Anne Elk: What is my theory that it is? Yes. Well, you may
well ask what is my theory.
Presenter: I am asking.
Anne Elk: And well you may. Yes, my word, you may well ask
what it is, this theory of mine. Well, this theory, that I have,
that is to say, which is mine,... is mine.
Presenter: I know it's yours! What is it?
Anne Elk: ... Where? ... Oh! Oh! What is my theory?
Anne Elk: Ahh! My theory, that I have, follows the lines
that I am about to relate. (starts prolonged throat clearing)
Presenter: (under breath) Oh, God! (Anne still
Anne Elk: The Theory, by A. Elk (that's "A" for Anne",
it's not by a elk.)
Anne Elk: (clears throat) This theory, which
belongs to me, is as follows... (more throat clearing) This
is how it goes... (clears throat) The next thing that I am
about to say is my theory. (clears throat) Ready?
Anne Elk: The Theory, by A. Elk (Miss). My theory
is along the following lines...
Presenter: (under breath) God!
Anne Elk: ...All brontosauruses are thin at one end; much,
much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the far end. That
is the theory that I have and which is mine and what it is, too.
Presenter: That's it, is it?
Anne Elk: Right, Chris!
Presenter: Well, Anne, this theory of yours seems to have
hit the nail right on the head.
Anne Elk: ... and it's mine.
Presenter: Thank you for coming along to the studio.
Anne Elk: My pleasure, Chris.
Presenter: Britain's newest wasp farm...
Anne Elk: It's been a lot of fun...
Presenter: ...opened last week...
Anne Elk: ...saying what my theory is...
Presenter: ... Yes, thank you.
Anne Elk: ...and whose it is.
Presenter: Yes.... opened last week...
Anne Elk: I have another theory.
Presenter: Not today, thank you.
Anne Elk: My theory #2, which is the second theory that I
have. (clears throat). This theory...
Presenter: Look! Shut up!
Anne Elk: ...is what I am about to say.
Presenter: Please shut up!
Anne Elk: which, with what I have said, are the two
theories that are mine and which belong to me.
Presenter: If you don't shut up, I shall have to shoot
Anne Elk: (clears throat) My theory, which I posses
the ownership of, which belongs to... (Sound of a single gun
Anne Elk: (clearing throat) The Theory the Second,
by Anne... (Sound of prolonged machine gun fire)