(This sketch continues from Argument Clinic / Hitting on the
Head Lessons. We see Detective Inspector Fox enter the room.)
Inspector Fox: Right. Hold it there.
Man and Spreaders: What?
Inspector Fox: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Inspector
Fox of the Light Entertainment Police, Comedy Division, Special
Man and Spreaders: Flying Fox of the Yard.
Inspector Fox: Shut up! (he hits the man with a
Spreaders: No, no, no - Waagh!
Inspector Fox: And you. (he hits Spreaders)
Inspector Fox: He's good! You could learn a thing or two
from him. Right now you two me old beauties, you are nicked.
Man: What for?
Inspector Fox: I'm charging you two under Section 21 of
the Strange Sketch Act.
Man: The what?
Inspector Fox: You are hereby charged that you did
willfully take part in a strange sketch, that is, a skit, spoof or
humorous vignette of an unconventional nature with intent to cause
grievous mental confusion to the Great British Public. (to
camera) Evening all.
Spreaders: It's a fair cop.
Inspector Fox: And you tosh. (.hits the man)
Inspector Fox: That's excellent! Right, come on down the
(Another inspector arrives.)
Inspector Gazelle: Hold it. Hold it. Allow me to introduce
myself. I'm Inspector Thompson's Gazelle of the program Planning
Police, Light Entertainment Division, Special Flying Squad.
Inspector Fox: Flying Thompson's Gazelle of the Yard!
Inspector Gazelle: Shut up! (he hits him)
Inspector Fox: Waaaagh!
Spreaders: He's good.
Inspector Gazelle: Shut up! (hits Spreaders)
Man: Rotten. (he gets hit) WAAAGH!
Inspector: Good. Now I'm 'arrestin' this entire show on
three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behavior contrary to the
'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and
so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is
the cruncher, offences against the 'Getting out of sketches without
using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every
bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a
(Another policeman enters.)
Policeman: Hold it. (puts his hand on Inspector
Thompson's Gazelle's shoulder)
Inspector: It's a fair cop.
(A large hairy hand appears through the door and claps him on
CAPTION: 'THE END'
(Cut to BBC world symbol.)
Announcer's Voice: And now on BBC 1, one more minute of
Monty Python's Flying Circus.