Monty Python Scripts

Charwoman

The cast:

DICKIE ATTENBOROUGH

Eric Idle

VOICE OVER

Terry Gilliam

The sketch:

A society function; general sound of polite conversation.

Lady: Very amusing, Lord Kimble, but would you excuse me a moment? I want to powder my nose. (She walks away and into the rest room)

Grossly exaggerated lavatorial noises

Lady: (emerging from rest room) Ah, that's better!

Back to the other people at the do. Suddenly Charwoman swings in on a rope, Tarzan-like, and grabs one of the gentlemen. She is massively built and naked except for pink stockings and knickers.

Gentleman: It's Charwoman!

3-d comic-book style title says: CHARWOMAN. Cut to Charwoman swinging back and forth on her rope between two lines of buildings.

Voice Over: Yes, Charwoman! Sweeping away the last remnants of male chauvinism, polishing off all who dare stand in her way, and cleaning up all in the publishing game. All this and more as once again Charwoman takes to the skies.

Charwoman faces the camera, beating her chest with alternate fists like King Kong. Then she hits both breasts at the same time and they explode.

Monty Python Scripts

Next Scene

web counter