(Cut to late-night line-up setting. Interviewer and
Padget: Martin Curry, welcome. One of the big teeth... big
points that the American critics made about your latest film, 'The
Twelve Caesars', was that it was on so all-embracing a topic. What
made you undertake so enormous a tusk... task?
(We now see that his interviewee has two enormous front
Curry: Well I've always been interested in Imperial Rome
from Julius Caesar right through to Vethpathian.
Padget: Ah! Vespasian.
Padget: When I saw your film it did seem to me that you
had taken a rather, urn, subjective approach to it.
Curry: I'm sorry?
Padget: Well, I mean all your main characters had these
enormous ... well not enormous, these very big ... well let's have a
look at a clip in which Julius Incisor .... Caesar talks to his
generals during the baffle against Caractacus.
Curry: I don't see that at all.
(Film: interior of a tent; generals around a table.)
Labienus: (with relatively enormous front teeth)
Shall I order the cavalry that they may hide themselves in the wood,
All: (with very large front teeth) Thus O Caesar.
Julius: (with amazingly large front teeth) Today is
about to be a triumph for our native country.
(Back to interview set.)
Padget: Martin Curry, why do all your characters have
these very big er ... very big um ... teeth?
Curry: What do you mean?
Padget: Well, I mean, er... and even in your biblical
epic, 'The Son of Man', John the Baptist had the most enormous ...
dental appendages ... and of course ... himself had the most
Curry: No, I'm afraid I don't see that at all. (picks
up glass of water but can't get it to his mouth) Could I have a
Padget: Oh, a straw, yes, yes. Well while we're doing that
perhaps we could take another look at an earlier film, 'Trafalgar'.
(Between decks. Nelson lying among others. They all have
Nelson: Cover my coat, Mr. Bush, the men must not know of
this till victory is ours.
Toad: The surgeon's coming, sir.
Nelson: No, tell the surgeon to attend the men that can be
saved. He can do little for me, I fear.
Toad: Aye, aye, sir.
Nelson: Hardy! Hardy!
Nelson: Hardy...' kiss... er ... put your hand on my
(Back to interview set. Curry is sitting practically upside
down, trying to drink water with much difficulty)
Padget: Martin Curry, thank you. Well. We asked the
first-night audience what they thought of that film.
(Cut to vox pops.)