(Animation leads to an oak paneled, Civil Service committee
room. A politician is addressing three officials.)
Politician: Gentlemen, our MP saw the PM this AM and the
PM wants more LSD from the PIB by tomorrow AM or PM at the latest. I
told the PM's PPS that AM was NBG so tomorrow PM it is for the PM it
is nem. con. Give us a fag or I'll go spare. Now- the fiscal deficit
with regard to the monetary balance, the current financial year
excluding invisible exports, but adjusted of course for seasonal
variations and the incremental statistics of the fiscal and revenue
arrangements for the forthcoming annual budgetary period terminating
First Official: I think he's talking about taxation.
Politician: Bravo, Madge. Well done. Taxation is indeed
the very hub of my gist. Gentlemen, we have to find something new to
Second Official: I understood that.
Third Official: If I might put my head on the chopping
block so you can kick it around a bit, sir...
Third Official: Well most things we do for pleasure
nowadays are taxed, except one.
Politician: What do you mean?
Third Official: Well, er, smoking's been taxed, drinking's
been taxed but not ... thingy.
Politician: Good Lord, you're not suggesting we should
First Official: Poo poo's?
Third Official: No.
First Official: Thank God for that. Excuse me for a
Third Official: No, no, no - thingy.
Second Official: Number ones?
Third Official: No, thingy.
Second Official: Ah, thingy. Well it'll certainly make
chartered accountancy a much more interesting job.
Cut to vox pops.
Gumby: (standing in water) I would put a tax on all
people who stand in water ... (looks round him)... Oh!
Man In Bowler Hat: To boost the British economy I'd tax
all foreigners living abroad.
Man In Suit: I would tax the nude in my bed. No - not tax.
What is the word.~ Oh - welcome.
It's Man: I would tax Raquel Welch. I've a feeling she'd
First Business Man: Bring back hanging and go into rope.
Second Business Man: I would cut off the more disreputable
parts of the body and use the space for playing fields,
Man In Cap: I would tax holiday snaps.