Monty Python Scripts

Batley Townswomen's Guild Presents the First Heart Transplant

The cast:

ANNOUNCER

John Cleese

RITA FAIRBANKS

Eric Idle

VOICE OVER

Michael Palin

The sketch:

(Cut to quirk clip of the Battle of Pearl Harbor from show eleven, first series. Beginning with Eric blowing the whistle and the two sides rushing at each other. Cut back to announcer.)

Announcer: That was last year's re-enactment of the Battle of Pearl Harbor performed by the BatIey Townswomen's Guild. It was written, directed and produced by Mrs. Rita Fairbanks.

(Cut to Rita Fairbanks on the beach.)

Rita: Hello again.

Voice Over: And what are your ladies going to do for us this year.

Rita: Well, this year we decided to re-enact something with a more modern flavor. We had considered a version of Michael Stewart's speech on Nigeria and there were several votes on the Committee for a staging of Herr Willi Brandt's visit to East Germany, but we've settled instead for a dramatization of the first heart transplant. Incidentally my sister Madge will be playing the plucky little springbok pioneer Christian Barnard.

Voice Over: Well off we go, then with the Barley Townswomen's Guild re-enactment of the first heart transplant.

(Rita Fairbanks blows her whistle. The two groups of ladies rush at each other. They end up in the sea, rolling about splashing, and thumping each other with handbags.)

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