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Monty Python Scripts

The Man Who Contradicts People

The cast:

HOST
John Cleese (on the record)
HOST
Michael Palin (in the TV Series)
NORMAN POLEVAULTER
Graham Chapman (on the record)
NORMAN POLEVAULTER
Terry Jones (in the TV Series)

The sketch:

Host: With me now is Norman St. John Polevaulter, who for the last few years has been contradicting people. St. John Polevaulter, why do you contradict people?

Polevaulter : I don't!

Host: But you... you told me that you did.

Polevaulter: I most certainly did not!

Host: Oh. I see. I'll start again.

Polevaulter: No you won't!

Host: Ssh! I understand you don't contradict people.

Polevaulter: Yes I do!

Host: And when didn't you start contradicting them?

Polevaulter: I did! In 1952!

Host: 1952.

Polevaulter: 1947!

Host: 23 years ago.

Polevaulter: No!

(GONG!)

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