(We see a man coming through a door with a neat little bride
in a bridal dress. The man walks up to the registrar who is sitting
at his desk with a sign saying 'Registrar of Marriages '.)
Man: Good morning.
Registrar: Good morning.
Man: Are you the registrar?
Registrar: I have that function.
Man: I was here on Saturday, getting married to a blond
girl, and I'd like to change please. I'd like to have this one
Registrar: What do you mean?
Man: Er, well, the other one wasn't any good, so I'd like
to swap it for this one, please. Er, I have paid. I paid on
Saturday. Here's the ticket. (gives him the marriage license.)
Registrar: Ah, oh, no. That was when you were married.
Man: Er, yes. That was when I was married to the wrong
one. I didn't like the color. This is the one I want to have, so if
you could just change the forms round I can take this one back with
Registrar: I can't do that.
Man: Look, make it simpler, I'll pay again.
Registrar: No, you can't do that.
Man: Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say
the words, blah, blab, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.
Registrar: I'm sorry sir, but we're not allowed to change.
Man: You can at Harrods.
Registrar: You can't.
Man: You can. I changed my record player and there wasn't
Registrar: It's different.
Man: And I changed my pet snake, and I changed my Robin
Registrar: Well, you can't change a bloody wife!
Man: Oh, all right! Well, can I borrow one for the
Man: Oh, blimey, I only wanted a jolly good...
(A whistle blows. A referee runs on, takes his book out and
proceeds to take the name of the man in the registry office, amidst
Referee: All right, break it up. What's your number, then?
All right. Name?
(Cut to the two in the next sketch waiting. Cut back to
referee, who finishes booking the man and blows his whistle. The
show continues... )