Monty Python Scripts

Hospital for Over-Actors

The cast:

SPECIALIST

Graham Chapman

RICHARD III

Michael Palin

SECOND RICHARD

Eric Idle

GUMBY

Michael Palin

The sketch:

(Cut to the interior of hospital and see specialist as he walks down a corridor.)

Specialist: All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. (a nurse goes past leading a Long John Silver who keeps going 'Aha! Jim Lad') When they're brought in they're all really over the top. (he passes a whole group of Long John Silvers) And it's our job to try and treat the condition of over-acting... (he passes a group of King Rats, and indicates the worst case) ...rather serious.

(he walks on through a door) This is the Richard III Ward.

(Pull out to reveal a crowd of Richard III's. The specialist indicates one who is really over the top.)

Richard III: A horse. A 'horse. My kingdom for a horse.

Specialist: Most of these cases are pretty unpleasant. Nurse... (a nurse comes in and sedates Richard III) But the treatment does work with some people. This chap came to us straight from the Chichester Festival; we operated just in time, and now he's almost normal.

(He walks over to a very ordinary Richard III, who smiles disarmingly and says quite chattily)

Second Richard: A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse.

(Shaking his head sadly, the specialist leaves the ward and opens a door to another one.)

Specialist: But in here we have some very nasty cases indeed.

(ANIMATION: involving grotesque Hamlets.)

Hamlets: To be or not to be. That is the question. To be...

(Animation leads to close up of flowers.)

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