(Animation link runs into a psychiatrist's consulting room.
The psychiatrist at his desk. The door opens and a receptionist
Receptionist: Dr Larch ... there's a Mr. Phelps to see
Psychiatrist: Er, nurse!
Psychiatrist: (whispering) Er, you don't think you
should make it clear that I'm a psychiatrist
Psychiatrist: Well, I could be any type of doctor.
Receptionist: Well I can't come in and say Psychiatrist
Latch' or 'Dr Larch who is a psychiatrist'. Oh, anyway look, its
written on the door.
Psychiatrist: (still whispering) That's outside.
Receptionist: Well, I don't care, you'll just have to do
it yourself. (she leaves)
Psychiatrist: (goes 'brr brr', then picks up phone)
Hello. Er, no, wrong number I'm afraid, this is a psychiatrist
speaking. Next please. (knock at the door) Er, come in.
(Phelps comes in dressed as Napoleon, with a parrot on his
head, and a lead with nothing on it.)
Phelps: Bow, wow, wow.
Psychiatrist: Ah Mr. Phelps. Come on in, take a seat. Now
what seems to be the matter?
Phelps: No, no, no. No. No.
Psychiatrist: I'm sorry?
Phelps: Oh can't you do better than that? I mean it's so
predictable I've seen it a million times. Knock, knock, knock come
in, ah Mr. Phelps take a seat. I've seen it and seen it.
Psychiatrist: Well look will you please sit down and do
your first line.
Phelps: No. No. I've had enough. I've had enough. (he
Psychiatrist: I can't even get it started.
Phelps: (off) Albatross!
Psychiatrist: Shut up! Oh it drives me mad.
(Cut to a man in limbo: Mr. Notlob.)
Notlob: A mad psychiatrist, that'd be new.
(Cut back to the psychiatrist.)
Psychiatrist: Next please.
(Knocking at door. Psychiatrist is about to call when he picks
up a thesaurus and thumbs through it.)
Psychiatrist: Cross the threshold, arrive, ingress, gain
admittance, infiltrate. (Notlob enters in an ordinary suit)
Ah Mr. Notlob, ah park your hips, on the sitting device.
Notlob: (to camera) It is a mad psychiatrist.
Psychiatrist: I'm not. I'm not. Come on in. Take a seat.
What's, what's the matter?
(Cut to Napoleon in limbo; he blows a raspberry.)
Psychiatrist: Now what's the matter?
Notlob: Well I keep hearing guitars playing and people
singing when there's no one around.
Psychiatrist: Yes, well this is not at all uncommon. In
certain mental states we find that auditory hallucinations occur
which are of a most ... (he steps suddenly and listens; the sound
of 'We're all going to the zoo tomorrow' is heard) Is that
'We're all going to the zoo tomorrow'?
Notlob: Yes. Yes.
Psychiatrist: Is it always that?
Psychiatrist: Well that's something.
Notlob: But it's mainly folk songs.
Psychiatrist: (concerned) Oh my God.
Notlob: Last night I had 'I'll never fall in love again'
for six hours.
Psychiatrist: Well look, I think I'd better have a second
opinion on this. I want you to see a colleague of mine, a specialist
in these sort of things, who has an office very much like this one
as a matter of fact.
(Sketch continues... with the Operating Theatre (Squatters