(Sketch starts with incredibly torchy music, after eight
seconds of which a caption appears on the screen: 'THE WORLD OF
HISTORY' followed by another caption: 'SOCIAL LEGISLATION IN THE
(Cut to fantastically alluring boudoir: a plush four poster
bed with silk drapes, silk sheets, a fur pillow etc. We look down on
it from above. Stretched out on the bed is a girl oozing with sex...
a real professional... black net stocking, suspenders, bra and
panties or what have you. She moves as if in the throes of orgasm as
she mimes to a very masculine voice off to a superimposed caption on
the screen: 'J. P. TAYLOR')
Voice Over: (very masculine voice to which girl mimes)
Good evening. Tonight I want to examine the whole question of
eighteenth-century social legislation - its relevance to the
hierarchical structure of post-Renaissance society, and its impact
on the future of parochial organization in an expanding agrarian
economy. But first a bit of fun.
Cut to film of eight-second striptease. Cut immediately back
to the same set.)
Voice Over: To put England's social legislation in a
European context is Professor Gert Van Der Whoops of the Rijksmuseum
in the Hague.
(Cut to another bed, equally seductive. A little bespectacled
professor is lying on it being caressed and undressed by an amorous
Professor: (German accent) In Holland in the early
pan of the fifteenth century there was three things important to
social legislation. One ... rise of merchant classes ... two,
urbanization of craft guilds... three, declining moral values in age
of increasing social betterment. But first, a bit of fun ...
(A curtain and potted palms. Sound effects: angel choirs. A
man in dinner jacket with angel's wings on is lowered from above. As
he touches the ground the angel choirs fade out. He gets a crumpled
piece of paper out of his pocket.)
Man: And now Professor R.J. Canning.
(He holds up the paper and puts it away. The angel choirs
start again and he slowly rises up and out of frame. Cut to
Professor Canning in straight presentation-type set with BP screen
behind him. Followed by a caption on the screen : 'PROFESSOR R. J.
Canning: The cat sat on the mat. And
now the Battle of Trafalgar... (on the screen behind him a
contemporary piaure of the Battle of Trafalgar flashes up)
Tonight we examine popular views of this great battle. Was the
Battle of Trafalgar fought in the Atlantic off southern Spain? Or
was it fought on dry land near Cudworth in Yorkshire? Here is one
man who thinks it was...
Cut to a man - a Gumby - with gum boots on, rolled up
trousers, knotted handkerchief etc., looking very thick and standing
in the middle of a field.)
Canning: (voice over) And here is his friend.
(Camera pans lightly losing Gumby but revealing identically
dressed thick man standing next to him. The camera pans back to
original Gumby. This is followed by a caption on the screen:
'PROFESSOR R. J. GUMBY')
Canning: (voice over) What makes you think the
Battle of Trafalgar was fought near Cudworth? (There is a long
First Gumby: Because ... Drake ... was ... too ... clever
for... the German ... fleet.
Canning: (voice over) I beg your pardon?
Gumby: ... Oh I've forgotten what I said now.
Canning: (voice over) Mr. Gumby's remarkable views
have sparked off a wave of controversy amongst his fellow
(Cut to identical Gumby figure in book lined study. He stands
followed by a caption on the screen: 'F. H. GUMBY. REGIUS PROFESSOR
OF HISTORY AT HIS MOTHER'S')
Second Gumby: Well I rink ... we ... should ... reappraise
... our concept of the ... Battle of Trafalgar.
(Cut to another Gumby, this time outside a university. A
superimposed caption flashes on screen: 'PROF. L. R. GUMBY')
Third Gumby: Well... well... I agree with everything Mr.
(Cut to yet another Gumby. This time standing in a pig-sty
with pigs. We seen another caption : 'PROF. ENID GUMBY')
Fourth Gumby: Well, I think cement is more interesting
than people think.
(Original sexy girl in seductive boudoir as she mimes to
masculine voice over while a superimposed caption appears on the
screen as before: 'A. J. P. TAYLOR')
Voice Over: One subject... four different views ...
(brandishing egg-whisk) twelve and six... in a plain wrapper.