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Monty Python Scripts

Letters to 'Daily Mirror'

The cast:

FIRST VOICE OVER
Eric Idle
SECOND VOICE OVER
John Cleese
THIRD VOICE OVER
Graham Chapman
FOURTH VOICE OVER
Michael Palin
FIFTH VOICE OVER
Terry Jones

The sketch:

(Cut to angry letters.)

Voice Over 1: (reads) Dear Mirror View, I would like to be paid five guineas for saying something stupid about a television show. Yours sincerely, Mrs. Sybil Agro.

Voice Over 2: Dear David Jacobs, East Grinstead, Friday. Why should I have to pay sixty-four guineas each year for my television license when I can buy one for six. Yours sincerely, Captain R. H. Pretty. PS Support Rhodesia, cut motor taxes, save the Argylls, running-in please pass.

Voice Over 3: Dear Old Codgers, some friends of mine and I have formed a consortium, and working with sophisticated drilling equipment, we have discovered extensive nickel deposits off Western Scodand. The Cincinnatti Mining Company.

Voices Over 1: Good for you, ma'am.

Voice Over 4: Dear Old Codgers, I am President of the United States of America, Yours truly, R. M. Nixon.

Voices Over 2: Phew! Bet that's a job and a half, ma'am.

Voice Over 5: Dear Sir, I am over three thousand years old and would like to see any scene with two people in bed.

Voices Over 3: Bet that's a link ma'am.

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