Host: Last week the Royal Festival Hall saw the
first performance of a new symphony by one of the world's leading
modern composers, Arthur 'Two sheds' Jackson. Mr. Jackson.
Host: May I just sidetrack for
one moment. This -- what shall I call it -- nickname of yours...
Jackson: Ah yes.
Host: "Two sheds". How did you come by it?
Jackson: Well, I don't use it myself, but some
of my friends call me "Two Sheds".
Host: And do you in fact have two sheds?
Jackson: No, I've only got one. I've had one for
some time, but a few years ago I said I was thinking of getting
another, and since then some people have called me "Two Sheds".
Host: In spite of the fact that you only have
Host: And are you still intending to purchase
this second shed?
Jackson: (impatient) No!
Host: ...To bring you in line with your epithet?
Host: I see, I see. Well to return to your
Jackson: Ah yes.
Host: Did you write this symphony in the shed?
Jackson: (surprised) No!
Host: Have you written any of your recent works
in this shed of yours?
Jackson: No, no, not at all. It's just an
ordinary garden shed.
Host: I see, I see. And you're thinking of
buying this second shed to write in!
Jackson: No, no. Look. This shed business -- it
doesn't really matter. The sheds aren't important. A few friends
call me Two Sheds and that's all there is to it. I wish you'd ask me
about the music. Everybody talks about the sheds. They've got it out
of proportion -- I'm a composer. I'm going to get rid of the shed.
I'm fed up with it!
Host: Then you'll be Arthur 'No Sheds' Jackson,
Jackson: Look, forget about the sheds. They
Host: (sternly) Mr. Jackson, I think,
with respect, we ought to return to the subject of your symphony.
Host: I understand that you used to be
interested in train-spotting.
Host: I understand that, about thirty years ago,
you were interested in train-spotting.
Jackson: Well what's that got to do with my
Other host: (entering) Are you having any
trouble with him?
Host: Yes, a little. Good Lord! You're the man
who interviewed Sir Edward Ross earlier.
Other host: Exactly. Well we interviewers are
more than a match for the likes of you, "Two Sheds".
Host: Yes, make yourself scarce, "Two Sheds".
This studio isn't big enough for the three of us! (They throw him
Jackson: Here, what are you doing? Stop it!
Other host: Get your own Arts program, you
Host: Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson... Never mind,
Other host: Oh Mike, you're such a comfort.