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Monty Python Scripts

Whizzo Butter

The cast:

Terry Gilliam
Michael Palin
Graham Chapman
John Cleese
Terry Jones

The sketch:

Voice Over: (during an animation) Yes, mothers, new improved Whizzo butter containing 10% more or less is absolutely indistinguishable from a dead crab. Remember, buy Whizzo butter and go to HEAVEN!

(Cut to a group middle-aged lower-middle-class women (hereinafter referred to as 'Pepperpots ) being interviewed.)

First Pepperpot: I can't tell the difference between Whizzo butter and this dead crab.

Interviewer: Yes, you know, we find that nine out of ten British housewives can't tell the difference between Whizzo butter and a dead crab.

Pepperpots: It's true, we can't. No.

Second Pepperpot: Here. Here! You're on television, aren't you?

Interviewer: (modestly) Yes, yes.

Second Pepperpot: He does the thing with one of those silly women who can't tell Whizzo butter from a dead crab.

Third Pepperpot: You try that around here, young man, and we'll slit your face.

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