Superman film: shot from below of Superman (Michael) striding
along against the sky.)
COMMENTATOR: (American accent) This man is no
ordinary man. This is Mr. F G Superman. To all appearances, he looks
like any other law-abiding citizen.
(Pull back to reveal he is in a modern street full of Supermen
walking along shopping, waiting at bus queues etc. F. G. Superman
gets onto a bus. The bus is full of Supermen, most of them with
shopping baskets on their knees. F. G. Supermen finds a
seat...during the commentary the camera slowly tracks in on his
But Mr. F G Superman has a secret identity. When trouble strikes
at any time, at any place, he is ready to become... BICYCLE REPAIR
(The camera is by now in very tight close-up. A country lane.
A superman rides into the shot on a bicycle, whistling innocently.
Suddenly he veers off to one side and crashes down into a ditch.
Cut to a launderette. Pan along a row of Supermen, one or two of
whom are poring over magazines such as: 'The Adventures of an
Insurance Broker', 'Income Tax Comics', and 'The Grocer'. Suddenly
the door flies open and a youngish Superboy bursts in dramatically.
Superboy: (dramatically) Hey, there's a bicycle
broken. Up the road. (he points dramatically)
Bicycle Repair Man: (voice over) Hmmmmm. This
sounds like a job for.. Bicycle Repair Man.... but how to change
without revealing my secret identity
(Close-up F. G. Superman. He narrows his eyes.)
Superman One: If only Bicycle Repair Man were here!
Superboy: Yes, wait, I think I know where I can find him.
Look over there!
(F. G. Superman points out of window; they turn and look
obediently. F. G. Superman whips overall out of case and puts them
Fantastically speeded-up for this. His overalls have 'Bicycle
Repair Man' written across the chest. He completes the
transformation with a pair of little round specs and a bag of tools.
He makes for the door and all the Supermen turn and raise their
hands in amazement.)
All Supermen: Bicycle Repair Man, but how?
Superman One: Oh look... is it a stockbroker?
Superman Two: Is it a quantity Surveyor?
Superman Three: Is it a church warden?
All Supermen: NO! It's Bicycle Repair Man!
(Country road. Superman is standing over the mangled bits
looking at it and scratching his head. Bicycle Repair Man speeds up
to him. Superman stands back in surprise, with arms raised. )
Superman: MY! Bicycle Repair Man! Thank goodness you've
come! (he points stiltedly) Look!
(Bicycle Repair Man pushes him to one side and kneels beside
the broken bicycle. Speeded-up: he mends the bike with spanners etc.
(A little group of Supermen has gathered to watch him work. As
he does so they point in amazement. )
Superman Two: Why, he's mending it with his own hands!
Superman One: See how he uses a spanner to tighten that
Superman: Oh, Oh Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay
Bicycle Repair Man: Oh, you don't need to guv. It's all in
a days work for... Bicycle Repair Man!
(Cut to Bicycle Repair Man presenting the Superman with a
glittering drop-handlebarred bike.)
All Supermen: Our Hero!
Voiceover: Yes! whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced
by international communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!