Main Page TV Series Scripts Monty Python and The Holy Grail Script The Meaning of Life Script Life of Brian Scripts Silly Links

Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Scene 15: Lancelot Saves a Beautiful and Melodious errr Prince?

[inside castle]

PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggling]

[outside castle]

GUEST: 'Morning!

SENTRY #1: 'Morning.

SENTRY #2: Oooh.

SENTRY #1: [ptoo]

[drum roll]

[drum roll]

[drum roll]

[drum roll]

[drum roll]

LANCELOT: Ha ha! Hiyya!

SENTRY #2: Hey!

LANCELOT: Hiyya!, Ha!, etc.

PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggling]

LANCELOT: Ha ha! Huy!

GUESTS: Uuh! Aaah!

LANCELOT: Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!...

GUARD #1: Now, you're not allowed to enter the room-- aaugh!

LANCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Lancelot of Camelot. I have come to take y-- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

HERBERT: You got my note!

LANCELOT: Uh, well, I-- I got, uh, a note.

HERBERT: You've come to rescue me!

LANCELOT: Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn't--

HERBERT: I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there...

[music]

LANCELOT: Well, I--

HERBERT: ...there must be... someone...

FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?

HERBERT: I'm your son!

FATHER: No, not you.

LANCELOT: Uh, I am Sir Lancelot, sir.

HERBERT: He's come to rescue me, Father.

LANCELOT: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.

FATHER: Did you kill all those guards?

LANCELOT: Uh... Oh, yes. Sorry.

FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each!

LANCELOT: Well, I'm awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.

HERBERT: Don't be afraid of him, Sir Lancelot. I've got a rope all ready.

FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!

LANCELOT: Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.

FATHER: I can understand that.

HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Lancelot! Hurry!

FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all!

LANCELOT: Well, I really didn't mean to...

FATHER: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!

LANCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?

FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!

LANCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see--

FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?

HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Lancelot!

LANCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.

FATHER: Very nice castle, Camelot. Uh, very good pig country.

LANCELOT: Is it?

HERBERT: Hurry! I'm ready!

FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?

LANCELOT: Well, that-- that's, uh, awfully nice of you,...

HERBERT: I am ready!

LANCELOT: ...um, I mean to be so understanding.

[thonk]

Um,...

[woosh]

HERBERT: Oooh!

LANCELOT: ...I'm afraid when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.

FATHER: Oh, don't worry about that.

HERBERT: Oooh!

[splat]

Monty Python and The Holy Grail ScriptHoly Grail Scripts Next SceneNext Scene

 

Main Page | Monty Python and The Holy Grail Sounds | Monty Python and The Holy Grail Script | Monty Python's Flying Circus Scripts | Monty Python Sounds | The Meaning of Life Script | Life of Brian Script | Silly Links

 

Business Affiliate Programs Deals Personals Advertising Shopping