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Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Scene 15: Lancelot Saves a Beautiful and Melodious errr Prince?

[inside castle]

PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggling]

[outside castle]

GUEST: 'Morning!

SENTRY #1: 'Morning.

SENTRY #2: Oooh.

SENTRY #1: [ptoo]

[drum roll]

[drum roll]

[drum roll]

[drum roll]

[drum roll]

LANCELOT: Ha ha! Hiyya!

SENTRY #2: Hey!

LANCELOT: Hiyya!, Ha!, etc.

PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS: [giggling]

LANCELOT: Ha ha! Huy!

GUESTS: Uuh! Aaah!

LANCELOT: Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!...

GUARD #1: Now, you're not allowed to enter the room-- aaugh!

LANCELOT: O fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Lancelot of Camelot. I have come to take y-- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

HERBERT: You got my note!

LANCELOT: Uh, well, I-- I got, uh, a note.

HERBERT: You've come to rescue me!

LANCELOT: Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn't--

HERBERT: I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there...

[music]

LANCELOT: Well, I--

HERBERT: ...there must be... someone...

FATHER: Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?

HERBERT: I'm your son!

FATHER: No, not you.

LANCELOT: Uh, I am Sir Lancelot, sir.

HERBERT: He's come to rescue me, Father.

LANCELOT: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.

FATHER: Did you kill all those guards?

LANCELOT: Uh... Oh, yes. Sorry.

FATHER: They cost fifty pounds each!

LANCELOT: Well, I'm awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.

HERBERT: Don't be afraid of him, Sir Lancelot. I've got a rope all ready.

FATHER: You killed eight wedding guests in all!

LANCELOT: Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.

FATHER: I can understand that.

HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Lancelot! Hurry!

FATHER: Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all!

LANCELOT: Well, I really didn't mean to...

FATHER: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!

LANCELOT: Oh, dear. Is he all right?

FATHER: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!

LANCELOT: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see--

FATHER: Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?

HERBERT: Hurry, Sir Lancelot!

LANCELOT: Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.

FATHER: Very nice castle, Camelot. Uh, very good pig country.

LANCELOT: Is it?

HERBERT: Hurry! I'm ready!

FATHER: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?

LANCELOT: Well, that-- that's, uh, awfully nice of you,...

HERBERT: I am ready!

LANCELOT: ...um, I mean to be so understanding.

[thonk]

Um,...

[woosh]

HERBERT: Oooh!

LANCELOT: ...I'm afraid when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.

FATHER: Oh, don't worry about that.

HERBERT: Oooh!

[splat]

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