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Monty Python Scripts


The cast:

Eric Idle
Michael Palin

The sketch:

(ANIMATION: a sketch advertising Crelm toothpaste. Cut to a soap powder commercial. Slick adman against neutral background. On his left is an ordinary kitchen table. On his right is a pile of sheets on a stand.)

Adman: This table has been treated with ordinary soap powder, but these have been treated with new Fibro-Val. (cut to top shot of interior of washing machine with water spinning round as per ads) We put both of them through our washing machine, and just look at the difference. (cut back to the original set-up; the sheets are obviously painted white; the table is smashed up) The table is broken and smashed, but the sheets, with Fibro-Val, are sparkling clean and white.

(Traditional expanding square links to next commercial. Animated countryside with flowers, butterflies and a Babycham animal. A boy and a girl (real, superimposed) wander through hand in hand.)

Man's Voice: I love the surgical garment. Enjoy the delights of the Victor Mature abdominal corset. Sail down the Nile on the Bleed-it Kosher Truss. (the adman comes into view over the background; he holds a tailor's dummy -pelvis only - with a truss) And don't forget the Hercules Hold-'em-in, the all-purpose concrete truss for the man with the family hernia.

(He throws away the truss. The background changes to blow-up of a fish tank. The adman is sitting at a desk. He pulls a goldfish bowl over.)

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